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How To Learn Sign Language

Transformational Communication | Doc Barham


Moderator: So I’m really, really, really excited
to introduce this this man to all of you because he’s my personal coach and, in fact, he coaches
a ton of different folks at Mindvalley. His name is Doc Barham. And because I am…okay, so because Doc has
had such a great impact on my life, I wanted to bring him here and introduce him to you. Now Doc is a transformative coach with a raw,
effective, innovative approach. He’s been doing this for 15 years. Has a global reputation as a cutting edge
change expert, and coach for many of the world’s most exceptional individuals and organizations. He’s a certified Master Coach, clinical hypnotherapist,
NLP practitioner, neurofeedback and biofeedback clinician, reiki master, and qi gong practitioner. What it doesn’t say on the bio is that he’s
also one of the smartest people I know. Doc has read about 40,000 books. He digests this information. And then I mean, I can ask doc a question
on anything and he’ll instantly pull up a book or a technique and show me how to do
that. Yesterday I asked him, “How do I get rid of
the astigmatism in my left eye?” And within 10 seconds he was recommending
various books, techniques, therapies that I could try. Again, one of the smartest people I know. His list of clientele include Fortune 500
CEOs, professional athletes, entertainment celebrities, people from the Oprah Winfrey
Network, zappos.com, NASA, and many, many, many more. Every time I walk into Doc’s office in…close
to Santa Monica and L.A., I see like the most incredible people walking out from like NBA
players, the best-selling authors, Doc coaches them all. And today, he’s going to give you the Doc
experience. So give a big massive round of applause to
Doc Barham. Doc: Give a nice round of applause for Vishen
for doing such a wonderful job for putting Awesomeness Fest together. Keep your hands going. Have a seat but keep your hands going for
everybody that you’ve seen so far in the last two days. How are you guys doing? Yeah, was your break nice? Did you have a good break? Are you guys ready to have some fun? Together: Yes. Doc: Are you sure? Together: Yes. Doc: Okay, six of you. Are you guys ready to have a little bit of
fun? Together: Yes. Doc: Sweet, okay. I want to move really fast because I really
want to share something that I’m very, very passionate about, which is communication. So, I want to ask you guys for a moment to
consider, ask yourself, what is success to you? How do you define success? So it’s an individual thing, obviously. But I think what you’ll find and this is what
I’ve found and working with people over the years, that we all tend to define success
generally the same way. Most of us want to do something that we love
and that we’re passionate about and that feels like something that’s purposeful to us, where
we’re making a contribution to something even larger. Would you guys tend to agree with that? Most of us want to get paid well, so that
we can live comfortably. Most of us want to have deep meaningful relationships,
personally, professionally, romantically, right? So these are the kinds of things that I notice
people always tend to say when they talk about success. Now, here’s my question. Would you agree that the quality of your business
is in large part…the success of your business is in large part due to the quality of your
relationships? How many people would agree with that? Raise your hand. Yeah. Now, how many of you people would agree that
the quality of your relationships is in large part due to the quality of your communication? Okay, now, here’s something I find really
interesting. How many of you guys, of the things that you
need to know in order to be successful…have you ever heard the, “What got you here won’t
get you there?” How many of you guys really like to learn? Like really like to learn? Okay, me too. I love to learn because then I suck less. It’s really true, isn’t it? I love learning because then I suck less when…whatever
it is. I used to hate selling and then one day I
had this bolt from the blue and I was like, “Man, I wonder if I hate selling because I
suck at it.” I had like the most ridiculous insight, “Duh.”… And then I was like, “I wonder if I got really
good at selling that I might like it?” Well, the same thing is true for communication. I want to ask you guys if you define success,
and we tend to agree on the definition for success, what I want to ask you is this, how
many of you guys got any real, real training in communication in school? Interesting, is it? So I work with people from all over the world
and here’s what I notice in communication. What I notice is that people in conversation
all the time are blowing up their relationships, breaking rapport all the time in the most
unconscious ways. And it can be happening every 5, 10, 15 seconds,
all kinds of different ways. How many of you guys have had a conversation
where you’re having the conversation with another person and there’s this moment where
you just feel like something is off? I’m going to explain why some of that is. So just to give you an example because I believe
that if you talk about something that you should actually be able to show or demonstrate
it in your life that it’s worked. So about seven years ago, I had a very, very
thriving practice. And then I got sick and I lost everything. And it was really awful because when I lost
everything…I mean, I lost everything. I lost my health. I lost my sanity. I had a complete and total physical, mental
breakdown. Nobody could figure it out what was going
on with me. I spent tens of thousands of dollars trying
to figure out what was going on. I lost my business, I lost my home, I lost
my car, I lost my girlfriend, I lost everything. I literally had to be placed on board of a
jet and flown across the country in order to stay in the bedroom, my sister’s old bedroom
and the parents had my house over their garage. And I spent a half a year convalescing. And I sat in the chair crying for half a year
because my whole body was spasming inside and out. All of my organs, all of my muscles, everything
was like this all day. I used to play a game called Make It through
the Next Five Minutes. That’s how close I was to sort of offing myself. I just couldn’t take it. It was so much pain, it was so excruciating. And it was so hard because I didn’t have an
answer of what was wrong. So long story short, I don’t say that to impress
you or anything like that, but this is what I do want to tell you is that eventually they
found out what was wrong. I had a problem going on in the central nervous
system with my spine. I healed it. I grabbed a $98 plane ticket and a suitcase
and I kissed my mom goodbye while she was crying, you know, “You’re going to leave and
go crazy again.” Like because I was. I was like, you know, like in your neighborhood
there’s always like the one crazy kid who kind of blew himself up somehow. Like you’re walking down the street and he’s
in the window like…That was me. I was that guy. I remember sitting up there going, “I’m the
guy, I can’t believe this.” So I grabbed the $98 plane ticket and I kissed
my mom. I flew back to Los Angeles and here’s the
thing. Using the skills of communication that I have
learned and I’ve shared with other people in the last 15 years and 20,000 hours of one-on-one
work, I was able to rebuild and surpass my business that took me almost 10 years before,
in 18 months. That is the power of communication. Because let’s face it, no man is an island
and in this world, it’s very interesting in the 21st century with Internet technology,
we’re all about traveling and being connected and maintaining relationships is more challenging
than ever before. How many of you guys have gotten a text message
and been offended when the person was actually joking? Nobody? Just me? Nobody ever got a text message, they+re like,
“What an a-hole?” Why? And they left off what? An emoticon? I want you to think about that from a communication
standpoint. Text, the language you use is only a portion
of the communication quality. Vocal tonality tells you everything about
the person’s intention, their motivation, the emotion. That’s why they put emoticons on there because
we actually communicate in multiple dimensions. Does that make sense? Let me give me one simple example. How many of you guys say “but”? Try cutting that word from your vocabulary. So, I can’t read your card. What’s your name? Eduardo: Eduardo. Eduardo? Eduardo, I want you to say, “The sky is blue.” Eduardo: The sky is blue. Doc: “But there’s some white clouds.” Eduardo: But there’s some white clouds. Doc: Okay, now, say it again and I’m going
to say, “but there’s some white clouds,” and I just want you to stop and tell me how that
feels. Eduardo: The sky is blue. Doc: Yeah, but there’s some white clouds. Doc: How’s that feel? Eduardo: Wow. [inaudible 00:10:26] Doc: Yeah, it kind of feels like, “Hey, fuck
you, buddy.” Now watch this. Say the sky is blue again. Eduardo: The sky is blue. Doc: Yeah, and there’s some white clouds too. Eduardo: Wow, yeah. Doc: Now multiply that but times how many
times in a single conversation you say but. Every time you do that, did you feel that
in your body? You did. It’s a visceral experience. You feel the disconnection in your body. Now what I want to do is I want to explain
why. We actually…the sum of the latest scientific
research talks about…Did you guys know we have more than one brain? Together: Yeah. Doc: That’s right. So do you guys know about what’s called the
triune brain? So Paul MacLean was a really famous scientist
and a doctor. And he did a bunch of research in the human
brain. He talks about the triune brain meaning three. Now the outermost portion of your brain, what
they call the neocortex, meaning new layer, that’s the thing that you see in all the zombie
movies that the guys are eating, the wrinkly grey shower cap park. They’re all going like… Okay, that’s the neocortex. That’s the latest edition in evolution. Underneath that, think about it this way,
here’s the neocortex. This is the limbic system. That’s your monkey brain. So, tonight, when everybody gets really loaded
and bombed and you take the booze and you turn off your neocortex because the alcohol
anesthetizes your brain from the outside in and then you start leading with your monkey
brain and going, “I love you, man. Hey, you want to fuck? I’m fucking hungry, dude. I’m going to crash…” That’s why, when you drink the booze, you
shut down the neocortex and you start opening up the monkey brain. That’s the center of all of your emotions. Underneath that, you have what’s called the
reptilian brain. That’s your lizard. It’s called the R-complex. So remember neocortex, limbic system, R-complex,
reptilian brain. This is what controls things like territorial
stuff, habits, rituals, these kind of things. Now what’s really interesting is that they
actually have centers in your body that they’re connected to. The outer brain, the neocortex or the cephallic
brain, that center is here. The limbic system is connected to another
center, guess where it is? That’s right, your heart. Did you guys know I work as a trainer for
the Institute of HeartMath? And did you guys know that if you take off
a hunk of heart, give it to a neuroanatomist, he can’t differentiate between that and brain
matter? That’s because it’s so full of neurons. This is more than a pump. It’s an organ of knowing. It’s a center of perception. See, it’s so funny that science is finally
coming around to something that we’ve all known for so many years based on our own experience. I knew it in my heart. Trust your heart. These phrases come from somewhere. They’re based on body-based experiences. Like with you when I just said, “no, but,
yes, and,” you had a body-based experience. All human experience is embodied. Communication is embodied. And what I’m trying to get to is this. Most of us spend all of our time in communication
up here in our head, we’re like a helium balloon floating around using this part as a garbage
dump. You have another center right here. It’s called your gut brain or your belly brain. In Western medicine, they call it the enteric
nervous system. So if I told everybody here to stand up and
stick your finger right here about two inches below your belly button, you’ll find there’s
a spot. You flex your abdominal muscles. You’re doing six pack abs. And then you stick your finger through the
skin and through the fat and you feel into the abdominal wall and you’ll feel like a
little cup, like a divot or a dimple on a golf ball. And that’s the seat, the center of a bunch
of nerves called the enteric nervous system or the belly brain. There’s a great book called “The Second Brain.” I highly recommend that you check it out. How many of you guys have ever known it in
your gut it was the right thing to do? How many of you’ve known what was in your
gut, it was the wrong thing to do? And your head went, “What?” It’s the right thing to do, man.” So your gut is going, “Uh-uh.” And your head is going, “Yeah, do that.” Okay, we really do have three brains and in
most of us, these three brains are not very well integrated. These three centers of knowing. It’s very simple. This brain thinks in thoughts, this brain
thinks in feelings. This brain thinks in body sensations. All of them are forms of knowing and all of
them are forms of intelligence. Does that make sense? Now, here’s what’s really fascinating. Is Lee here? Lee Holden, is he here? Lee, you can attest to the fact that in the
body in Chinese medicine, TCM, they talk about what? Three primary centers. Correct? Lee: Yes. Doc: That’s right. They call them the what? Lee: The three treasures. Doc: That’s right, the three treasures, the
dantian, upper, middle, lower dantian. They are very real. And the beautiful part, most people are walking
around thinking that they’re driving like, you know, some crappy old car, their body
is like some, you know, pretty, low level ford when they’re actually, you’re driving
the freaking Batmobile. Your body is unbelievable what it’s capable
of doing. So here’s what I’m trying to get to in your
communication. Most people’s communication is all up here,
and they’re really not paying conscious awareness or attention to the cues that are going on
in dialogue, in communication, in relationship with a friend, a lover, a business person,
this is the kind of thing that you need to be using more if you wish to be more successful
in pitches, in meetings, in interviews, in sales, in anything like that. It’s absolutely critical. I work with people in the Hollywood industry
who literally go and have pitches that can turn out to be multimillion dollar deals. And when they apply these kinds of topics,
they are successful much more all the time. So here’s what I want you to do. Are you guys with me? Together: Yes. Doc: And I can’t tell right now if you guys
are like gonna fall asleep or whether you guys are like, “Holy cow.” Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to consider that you are a multi-dimensional
being. And I don’t mean that figuratively, I mean
that literally. You have these three brains for thinking,
feeling, and sensing. They are in the head, the heart, and the belly. They are known as the neocortex, the limbic
system, and the R-complex. And the three qualities that they refer to,
and this is what’s important, presence, heart and being or beingness. Have you ever been with somebody who’s like
all up here but you just can’t feel him here, ladies? What happens, ladies, when a man is here? Can you feel it? Look at all the women. “Yes.” What happens, ladies? Woman: We like them. Doc: That’s right. How do you feel with them? Safe. And when you can’t feel him here? “Asshole.” Look at all the guys, “I gotta get in my heart,
man, and get out of the pants.” Isn’t that right? You can feel if someone is here. I want you to trust yourself. Why? Because you need to start trusting yourself
more because trust is the absolute foundation of all communication, in the neurolinguistic
programming, they call it rapport. It’s trust. When someone can’t feel you here, there is
not going to be trust. Now, how many of you knew that your heart
generates an electromagnetic field? Pretty cool, huh? Yeah. How many of you knew that it was 5,000 times
more powerful than the one that your being generates? Now, guess what the wave form of the electromagnetic
field generated by your heart looks like if you’re really angry or upset or afraid or
anything like that? Okay? Now, how many of you guys ever walked into
a room, the two people just had an argument, they’re not saying a word to each other, you’re
like, “Hey, what’s…oh. Okay.” Why? Because the tension is so thick you could… Together: Cut it. Doc: That’s right. Where do you think that comes from? A felt experience, isn’t it? You can feel it. It’s embodied. It’s a communication. Pay attention to it. How much in your conversations are you not
paying attention to these kinds of things that you’re doing unconsciously? You may be saying one thing here, but maybe
you’re saying a different thing here and a totally different thing here. You need to get Larry, Moe and Curly on the
same page. So when someone has a tremendous presence,
that’s because they’re very much in their upper dantian, and their head center. What do we say? “Oh, he’s brilliant.” See, we know it. It’s because this is very lit up. When someone is here…how many people could
feel Jeff in your seat? That’s a living fact. Your direct embodied experience demonstrates,
you could feel him from the stage. Did you know that that field when a human
being is in a space of love, that that electromagnetic field is measured as far as 15 feet in diameter? Guess what the waveform looks like? Anybody had a grandma they used to sit with
and it was like sitting next to a fire, like a warm fire when you used to sit with your
grandma or grandpa? That’s because they’re sitting in a space
of unconditional love. And the electromagnetic field that their body
is generating is actually entraining your electromagnetic field and consequently your
entire nervous system. So it’s really cool. We can talk about love and the power of love. But as westerners, we have this real left
brain kind of thing that we get educated in. And I find that these are very powerful ways
to give us permission to kind of do and be what we already know. Does that make sense? Now what happens when the electromagnetic
field of the heart, what happens to it when you get upset? It implodes down upon itself. So this center here, the lower dantian, the
being center, this is the center of your being, okay? In spirituality, this is the center of consciousness. This is the center of your soul. And this is your being because you are literally
a multi-dimensional being. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. It’s your Batmobile. Now imagine the quality of your communication,
what it could be like if you were to begin to awaken the centers to become conscious
in these centers. What you find in meditation, in deep meditation
is that the three centers that we’re talking about also relate to three literal dimensions. Spiritual scripture talks about the dimension
of presence, the dimension of pure awareness. This is the dimension of the divine. Your soul rests with creator known as the
beloved, the aspect of creator known as the beloved in the divine, the dimension of the
divine. And the dimension of the absolute is accessed
through here, the lower dantian, which is the dimension of your being or beingness. Now, think about this, what’s the difference
between the three? This is about your purpose. This is about your passion. This is about your power. Does that make sense? Why? Because it’s about the three V’s. Your purpose comes from your vision. Your passion literally is guided by your values. And your power comes from your vitality or
your vital life force. So what I want you to consider, you can have
a kind of experience, and I want you guys to practice while you’re here. And if I’m here, come up to me and ask me
questions going, “Dude, I have no idea what the hell you were talking about. Could you explain it to me?” Or say, “Hey, that was totally awesome. What about this?” Whatever. I absolutely love this stuff. Why? Because I used to suck at communication. For real. I literally have become an award-winning speaker
for the National Speakers Association. And when I was a little boy I used to talk
like this. I had to go through years of bio-functional
therapy. Anything you want to be good at in life, it’s
really simple. Just learn and practice. Okay, let me give you one example. This is a very, very simple thing you can
do. If you want to connect in the presence center,
do not look at someone like this. It’s a little bit difficult with the distance
but you see how my eyes are kind of shifting back and forth like this? Okay, usually we’re only a few feet away from
one another in conversation. And how does this make you feel when someone
is doing this? What do they call them? Shifty-eyed. “Hey, I want to open up my wallet and give
all my money. to shifty eyed. I can’t wait to do a risky multimillion dollar
deal with shifty eye.” Okay, I used to work as both a professional
standup comedian and I used to be known as America’s fastest stage hypnotist. Now one of the things about hypnosis is that
it’s really easy, and it’s really real. And you can mesmerize people in your conversation,
in your communication. You can entrance them, and it’s incredibly
simple. You can start with looking into one of their
eyes. Right eye to right eye. Who would be interested in perhaps coming
up? There we go. I love the arms that shoot… I love that. Come on up. Give her a nice round of applause, guys. Cindy? Great. Okay. Now, I’m going to get at a little bit of an
angle here. But Cindy, what I want you to do is this. I want you to tell me how you feel. I’m just going to look at you, okay? So when I am…thank you. No, I think she’s old enough to hold it now. I’m such a dick. I’m such a jerk. Guy is just trying to help. Okay, all I want you to do is…okay, see
what I’m doing? And how does that make you feel? Cindy: Nervous. Doc: Yeah, did you hear that? What did she say? Together: Nervous. Me, I made her feel nervous. How many of you guys perhaps do this unconsciously
and then wonder why the person turns into a big crackhead in front of you? Huh? And then you walk away going, “That guy.” This is what I’m saying. In NLP one of the presuppositions is the quality
of your communication is the response you get. How many of you take responsibility for your
communication? How many of you go, “That guy…” and blame
the other person? As a hypnotist, the number one thing that
you have to do is have someone trust you. One of the…trust is not an airy-fairy thing. It’s not like, “Oh, trust.” This is what…here’s the thing, I really
haven’t no tolerance for a lot of the airy-fairy New Age stuff that isn’t grounded in reality
because we’re human beings and this Batmobile that we’re driving is how we know everything. And the more you get in it, the more you can
like turn on the smoke screen and the oil jets and the flame throwers and the…all
that kind of stuff and have fun. Watch. Now, if I look at you with my right eye to
your right eye and I relax the eyelid of my right eye and I soften my gaze and what do
you notice about that? Cindy: I feel more comfortable. Doc: And what else do you notice about like
how you feel comfortable? Cindy: Gazing into your soul. Doc: How does it feel? Feel safer. Cindy: Calmer. Doc: Yeah, calmer? Do you feel more like you can…I’m open to
you, I’m available to you? Cindy: Mm-hmm. Doc: Do you feel more like you’re like being
heard? Cindy: Yes. Doc: Right. And how does that feel? So if you noticed…did anybody of you see
that? I said, “Do you feel more like you’re being
heard?” And she went, “Yes.” Every human being, what they want is to just
feel heard. What I find is, I love doing business but
sometimes so many of us are so busy trying to do business that we forget that there’s
another soul right here. And if you do business with another soul,
you’re going to do an entirely different business than if you’re just doing it with somebody
else. So, now, how do you think you might be able
to use this in your own relationships, something simple, just like Looking in their eyes and
softening your gaze? Just in your life in general. Cindy: Just maybe listening better to other
people and also hearing exactly what they’re saying and not being distracted by what’s
going on up here. Doc: Yeah, that’s a really big one. Cool. So would you be willing to do that with more
people here while you’re here? Would you be willing to practice? Cindy: Yeah. Doc: Who would be willing to practice with
her while she’s here? Thank you. Give her a round of applause. Here’s what we’re going to do. Turn to the person next to you. What I want you to do is I want you to be
ones and twos. So pick a partner, ones and twos. It’s really simple. The first time, I want you to look at each
other like that with your shaky eye. I want you to both report to each other how
it makes you feel when you see the other person looking at you like that. That’s so that you can then do it the second
time in contrast. So what do you do? You look into one eye. You use a soft gaze. Relax your eyelids and blink less. Go ahead and have fun with that. [00:32:18]
[silence] [00:32:45] Doc: Ah, great. Getting a little sweaty? Yeah. [00:32:49]
[silence] [00:33:15] Doc: Can i get this here? There’s probably going to be some other people
who come up. Do you want me to just leave it there? Yeah. Okay. Can I do that? Thanks. See if you can really soften that gaze. Feel what happens to your thoughts and your
body. Okay, great. If you guys can wrap up now. Say thank you to your partner and turn back
front. Who liked that? How many of you think that goes well with
Jeff’s hug? Who’d like to share what they experienced,
what the difference was? Anybody? Yes. Yeah. Man: Well, me and Doug were saying that immediately
after we started looking at each other, it was actually even harder to do the awkwardness. We were saying that I guess in this case it
was so easy for me to connect with him. And we had many chats before that to the point
that when we’re talking we’re just really talking. And him I noticed that he was actually making
an effort to making him comfortable. He was really comfortable being just that,
the gazing to each other. Doc: Good, good. Let me ask you a question really quickly,
guys. How many of you noticed a kind of palpable
quality or energy between the two of you that was either, that was not there when your eyes
were broken, your eye gazing was broken and when it was there? Uh-huh. So I want you to consider that what’s actually
happening, the term entrainment is actually a phenomena that goes throughout all of the
universe. So if I yawn, what do you do? Okay. You ever sitting in a restaurant somewhere
and you’re talking to your friend, and you’re like, “Yeah, and that’s when we went to the
horse track and I bet on the wrong horse and there’s music playing over the PA system,”
and you’re doing what with your foot? Why is that? Because there’s a beat and your nervous system
is entraining to it, your subconscious mind. It’s a kind of tacit learning. How many of you guys have ever, say, like
being doing something like you’re walking in a store, and you’re like texting, and then
all of a sudden you start going, “Doo doo, doo doo, doo, doo, doo, doo…” And it’s over the PA system, right? So there’s all kinds of communication that’s
going on non-verbally, non-physically, informationally all the time. That’s what we’re pointing to. And I want you to pay attention to the feeling,
sensing quality, because remember, this is feeling and this is sensing, right? This is one of the most powerful ways that
I know to generate trust and keep someone’s attention. How many of you guys noticed that you got
a little bit of a, when you saw that person was looking at you with the unblinking gaze
that was kind of soft…by the way, don’t do the stalker stare like the…right. Particularly guys. It’s like you’re pinning them to the wall. Soft. How many of you when you saw and felt the
soft gaze you were, inside, you’re like… “Yeah, I feel heard.” How many of you noticed that when you were
going right eye to right eye, or left eye to left eye, whichever, same eye, did you
notice that a lot of your chatter quieted down? Because listening is unbelievably important. So don’t get upset ladies. But one of the things that I learned very
early on in dating is, I love to go to restaurants and watch people on a first date. Because you watch the guy and the guy he always
wants to impress, so he won’t shut his pie hole. He’s like, “And then I did this, and then
I did that and then I did this. You know, enough about me. What do you think of me?” And she’s like in her head going, “Oh, my
God. I have to pee. I am so out of here. What are you doing? No, this guy, no. I’m totally out of here.” Want to get the ladies, guys? Here’s what you do. Let the cut under your nose heal. Shut your freaking pie hole. Listen. Here’s what listening isn’t. Listening is not this. “Man, I got to remember this thought because
it’s a really good thought. And when that person shuts up, I’m going to
totally share this really good thought.” What, you guys don’t know what I’m talking
about? You could see it in a person’s eyes. People, you can see it in their eyes when
they’re thinking. You’re like, “Hello.” Guys, if you will listen, here’s what will
happen. You’ll go, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh.” Now, you got to be real. You know, you can’t be a cheasel. But then she’ll go, “Bla, bla, bla, bla, bla,
bla…” “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.” “Bla, bla, bla…” “Oh, yeah, yeah.” “Bla, bla, bla… Here’s the most interesting person.” Magic. All the guys are now like, “Dude, I get to
shut up and be interesting?” Guys are lazy. So what I’m saying is there’s so much going
on the communication when we have the right eye to right eye. Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to look at this really close, close
to this short video from HeartMath very, very quickly. Can you guys queue that up? Is that okay? Thank you. And this is about a minute long that’s about
the electromagnetic field that’s generated by the heart. And what I’d like you to do while you’re here
in this lovely place is I’d like you to work on feeling the presence of another person,
right here at their middle dantian in their heart center. Man: “Over the past 18 years, our research
centers have investigated heart-brain interactions. How the heart and the brain communicate with
each other and how that affects consciousness and our perceptions. One of the things we identified in our research
was the state we now call coherence. And what we found was that when we’re feeling
positive emotions, like we’re really appreciating the sunset, or really feeling love or compassion
or care for someone, that the heart beats out a very different message. The heart generates by far the largest rhythmic
electromagnetic field produced in the body. And what we’ve now found is that if we look
at the spectrum analysis of the magnetic field created by the heart, that emotional information
is actually encoded and modulated into those fields. So by learning to shift our emotions, that’s
changing the information we’re encoding into the magnetic fields radiated by the heart. And that can impact those around us. We are fundamentally and deeply interconnected
with each other, and the planet itself. And what we do individually really does count
and it matters.” Doc: Pretty cool, huh? So we want to have a felt experience of that,
right? So here’s what I want you to do. You guys want to have a felt experience? You want to feel your own energy, your own
life force? Okay? Put your hands out in front of you like this. Okay, now pull your hands apart…actually,
you can smack them together if you want to. Stick your teeth out in front like you’re
hurt. No, just kidding. Okay, now pull your hands part. Now relax your hands. Switch off your left brain. Stop thinking. Put your awareness, just put your attention
between your hands. Just feel. Don’t think about feeling. Just feel. And now, very gently, pull your hands apart
a little, tiny bit and push them back together. And you feel that buzzy, tingling sensation
between your hands right there? Yes, that’s really happening. It’s not a suggestion. Now, for some of you, if you roll your hands
a little bit like this and you feel in the palms, you’ll feel magnets. Like a magnetic pushing. Feel that? That’s right. That’s because your body has a polarity, like
a battery. And here, you have what are called chakras
in your hands. Your whole body is this multidimensional being
of consciousness and energy. And this is in you and all around you. And when you go see someone like a quiong
master, what they do is help to recharge your battery. And this is what you can give to other people. But you want to learn how to do it without
draining yourself in the process. Does this make sense? Okay, for those of you who haven’t felt it
yet, what I’d like you to do is I’d like you to think about someone that you really love. And as you really see that person in your
mind’s eye and you feel how they make you feel when you’re with them. You hear the sound of their voice. And how that makes you feel. What do you notice happening in that space
between your hands? Like some people got their hands like this
big now. You feel it getting bigger, warmer, right? Now, think about someone you really dislike. Come on. Think about that person you really don’t like. Really feel how they make you feel. See in your mind’s eye and hear the sound
of their voice and how that just feels awful. What’s happening between your hands? Yeah, just feels like it just dropped out
and got empty. More like a vacuum, it just went… Okay. If you can feel it between your hands, I guarantee
you the person who’s next to you can feel it too. You can feel it between your hands I guarantee
you the person who’s next you can feel it too. So what I want you to do is this, put your
hand here, okay? And I just want you to feel, do not think,
just feel. For whatever you feel but don’t put your awareness
at your skin, okay? Put it out in front between your palm and
your forehead. And I just want you to feel here. And how many of you feel kind of like a warmth
or a tingly or…you feel that? Right. Now put your awareness here. Put your hand here. Don’t try so hard. Here’s why, because it’s already there. So you only…it would be like going…”I
want you to look at your right arm.” “If I look away it’ll disappear,” okay? It’s effortless. Because it’s already there. You don’t have to make anything. I’m simply asking you to tune in to what already
is extant, which is there. How many of you feel this? It’s a pretty heartfelt bunch. So it wouldn’t surprise me. You guys feel it? Okay, now watch. What I’d like you to do is bring your awareness
up, shift it up into your head and feel what happens here. Just get out of your heart. I know a lot of the ladies are like, “How
do I do that?” A lot of the guys are like, “Oh, good. That was really uncomfortable.” So what do you notice? Did you feel that at all? That’s fascinating, isn’t it? Amazing. It may get sort of soft, or cold, or flat,
or…right? Now, place your awareness up here, bring all
your awareness up in your head, feel there, now drop down to your heart, shift your awareness,
leave your hand up, shift your awareness, just shift your attention to the center of
your chest, actually just behind your sternum. Some of you can probably see it with your
mind’s eye. It actually looks like a little glowing orb
back there, a middle dantian like a ball of light. And feel, feel how this is different when
you move down there. If you shift your awareness down to your chest,
you can feel it. Good. So now what I want you to do, I want you guys
to turn to one another and I want you to literally practice, men and women, all right, practice
shifting while you talk to the person being here versus being here. And I want you to notice what happens to your
feelings to the other person’s reaction, right, the kind of words, the quality of communication. Notice the subtle things that happen if you
are here and communicate versus here and communicate. Does that make sense? So ones and twos. One person, start at the head, move down to
the heart. Twos, give them feedback and then switch. Make sense? [00:48:17]
[silence] [00:49:32] Doc: Y’all feel that? It’s really something, isn’t it? Gets that whir. Be sure to remember, look with your eye, right
eye, into their right eye. [00:49:49]
[silence] [00:51:06] Doc: Okay. Take just a minute to kind of wrap up. Tell your partner thank you. And go ahead after you tell your partner thank
you and begin to turn up here to the front. [00:51:31]
[silence] [00:51:48] Good job. So we only have about 10 minutes left for
the whole presentation. So if you guys could turn forward. Would you guys mind sharing? Would you two mind standing up and sharing? Come on, would you? Can you? Thanks. Hey, guys. Hey, guys listen up. What are your names, ladies? Can you? Female: Yes. Is this on? Hey, guys, we’re going to share up here. If you guys could just say your names before
you kind of start. Cathy: I’m Cathy Lumsden. Sandy: Sandy. Doc: Sandy, can you stand up too? So I watched and I watched many of you. What’s your name too, by the way, sweetie? Yeah, right, you, the one who’s…yes, ma’am. Joanne: Joanne Bedo. [SP] Doc: Good. I’d like you to share just a second too. I watched the number of you had a very, very
profound experience. Can you guys share what it was like? Cathy: Well, it was amazing because both of
us when we dropped into our hearts, tears came to our eyes. Doc: How many of you began to have that? That is how powerful it is when you are here. You literally touch another person. What else did you guys notice? Sandy: For me I really noticed that very first
exercise you did when you said, “Put your hands together.” And I’ve done that so many times before. I’ve learned HeartMath. I’ve done everything. I know it all. But when you said, “Stop thinking, just feel,”
that’s what did it for me. Doc: Yeah. It makes all the difference. Sandy: And that’s what allowed to do that
exercise, to actually feel. And as you said, the moment we dropped into
our hearts, we both just teared up. Doc: That’s awesome. Can you give them a nice little round of applause? See, the reason that I bring this up is because,
you know, our planet in many ways is in a pretty bad way. And it’s going to take the concerted long-term
effort of many, many, many people working together in very, very challenging, complex
situations. And being able to manage a lot of things like
stress, complexity, right? Shared vision, mission, in order to kind of
help be able to get the planet back on track. And there just isn’t any way it’s going to
happen from here alone. It will never happen. I’m sorry. It’s just…Could you share a little bit? Joanne: Part of it, maybe. What I love is when we did the heart piece,
we were beyond the words. And I felt that much deeper connection with
that. I can tell you when I went into the heart
though, the sequence that I had is, “You are beautiful. I love this conference. I love life.” And it just gets us there. Doc: Nice. Thank you very much. So this center is about presence. When you are mind to mind, you can share your
brilliance and creativity. And there is synergy. What this is really about is these three centers,
when they are awake, and aware, and activated, and functioning, you will experience the coveted
flow state much more frequently. Because you do not just live here, even though
Western society would like to educate you and condition you to do that. You’re leaving out two thirds of your brain,
so to speak. So we need…if you want to be heart to heart,
that’s great. How many of you people have ever noticed,
this is really wonderful but sometimes we got to get shit done. I don’t mean to disparage but I mean we need
all three centers, right? We need the presence for the brilliance and
the creativity, we need the heart for the soulfulness and to do the right thing and
not harm ourselves, others, or our world and do things for the long term, not for the short
term and go, “Grandkids will take care of it.” And we also need vitality, and beingness,
and power in order to make it sustainable because these kinds of changes are not easy,
right? There’s a couple different ways of doing business
in my opinion. One of them is have fun, really love the people
that you work with and be of service with them and grow together with them over the
course of your life, or you could be a little bit more like the…everybody is kind of a
meal ticket and you kind of get, right, you’re going to get their money and extract, that
kind of way. That’s really old school. And it’s really time for 21st century change. And this kind of communication is what allows
it to happen. You guys are all going to leave and you’re
going to go out of here. I hope that you’ll practice with one another
between now and when you depart so that you can get really good and feel comfortable. So that when you go, you know, the picture
of the Earth with all the lines or the planes going out like that, so that you take it out
into the world and you go do it to everybody and watch what happens. There’s many, many, many more things that
you can learn. For example, we talked about listening. If you ever have difficulty listening, here’s
what I want you to do. Place your awareness here just below your
belly button and inside. Lee, would you mind standing up and talking
60 seconds about the lower dantian and that center? Because I’m sure you’ve taught this many times. Give him a nice round of applause. Lee: I love what you’re doing with NLP and
Chi, it’s this brilliant combination. And, you know, what we’ll do to a little bit
tomorrow too is dive into this flow state that you’re talking about and power up the
energy. I mean, it’s perfect segue into what I’ll
be doing. Lower dantian is like the second brain, this
power center, it’s the center of your energy, your Chi. You know, I think what we’re looking for when
we’re wanting to be present is to be connected to this place, this earth center. It brings this center into the moment. And so when we can route and stabilize our
mind into this lower dantian center, then we’re actually here. Then we can be effective, we can be in the
moment. And when we can drop the heart center into
this one then we can be in love with a moment. We can enjoy the moment. So I think this is extremely powerful center
where we can feel here present and connected. Doc: Awesome. You are a multi-dimensional being with different
ways of knowing different kinds of intelligences. These brains are part of different bodies,
right? People talk about a physical body, a mental
body, an emotional body, a causal body. These are very real. It doesn’t need to be discussed, like, no,
science is not gonna be able to prove it today. But it is something you can discover on your
own if you’re willing to do the work. And it’s the best thing in the whole world
because that’s where evolution is headed anyway. So get a head start. Now, what I want to show you is this, if you
want to see what real mastery of this energy looks like. Can you play that really quick video of Master
Joe? Let’s take another look in slow motion. That’s my teacher. He lives in Los Angeles. And I’m in suite 301 and he’s in suite 309. Looks pretty good for 80 years old. He’s a master of Tai Chi, Qigong, Bagua, and
Shaolin Kung Fu. He’s been studying since the age of seven. And, man, was I a punk when I met him. And he’s the dearest, sweetest man. But I’ve learned so much from him in conjunction
with what I’ve learned about hypnosis, and about NLP, and about combining them together
to see how they all dovetail together. So that we as people can learn and grow and
become really, really wonderful at what, communication, enhancing our communication, because it can
become deeper, richer, more fulfilling, more meaningful, and greater things can happen
if you are in your power, you are open hearted, and in your soul, and you are in your brilliance
in your present center. And if you guys enjoyed this, I would love
to enjoy sharing more with you afterwards or we’ll do more in the next presentation
in a couple of days. Thank you guys very much. I hope this was helpful.

34 Replies to “Transformational Communication | Doc Barham”

  • Insightful and inspiring. I have never heard communication explained in such a dynamic way. Went out and practiced the tools today and was amazed at the results! What a difference it makes to be present in all 3 brains!

  • THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I've finally come across a video that explains very well the impact the word "but" has in communication (09:48). All of my friends & family have heard me "warn" about the use of "but," still it's great to have "backup" (LOL) & have it explained in such a great way! THANKS AGAIN FOR THIS! :O)

  • The quality of your communicate is the response you get. How many of you take responsibility for your communication? You have to have someone trust you. Every human being wants to feel heard.

  • I've tunneled through a good portion of youtube. This guy definitely bubbles to the top as one of the greater living humans I've listened to. So awesome/dynamic. Simplifying the complex. Self awareness steroids.

  • I HAVE STILL SOME BARRIER LANGUAGE PROBLEM, BUT I LISTENED ONCE AND I WILL LISTEN TWICE BECOUSE I FEEL WHAT HE SAYS CAN CHANGEMY LIFE. THANKS FROM BRASIL.

  • Continuing environmental degradation: air, water, food pollution, pharmaceuticals, geoengineering/chemtrails, EMFs etc may pose a great challenge to larger scale energy centre integration by the less affluent, with irreversible damage to the neuronal hardware of the body?

  • One of the most entertaining and educational personalities around! A fantastic reminder to everyone that the Universe of which YOU are part doesn't listen with ears. A lot of useful information to further study and continue my own expansion- THANKS!!!

  • This is really good. Thank you for uploading these AWEMAZING videos 😀 
    Btw, who is this Jeff guy that Doc mentions several times? "Jeff's hug," etc. 🙂

  • The heartmath.org presentation starts at 40:46 and the exercises to feel chi energy between your hands and in your head, heart, and lower dantien follow.

  • I was so interested in hearing what this guy had to say until the guy who introduced him started reading off a long brag sheet…..and over 40,000 books. Seriously? Anyway, this may be interesting to a lot of people. He is teaching communication truths but interjecting witchcraft. Chakaras deal with demonic spirits and the Mind's eye…aka 3rd Eye is satanic. Don't be deceived just because they are making this mainstream. The masses will deceived in the last days the bible says.

  • dude, its very much ok to communicate with your audience, its even crucial to a good speech, the problem is you say the word "right" to many times
    its like your asking the permission of the audience to approve your words, your not comfortable with your own theories and people notice that
    obviously not contentiously because they haven't learned the communication skills but you did, so I'm really surprised you do that
    besides that, it was a great talk, and i hope people will take it more seriously, and who knows, maybe even start to teach this important subject in schools ..

  • What is one thing YOU learn about communication? Share your thoughts, we'd love to hear them 😃

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