The Most Common Body Language Problem – Eye Contact
August 7, 2019
It’s without a doubt that eye contact is the most important body language aspect that you need to improve on Cereal boxes with mascots making eye contact with consumers are purchased significantly more than those that do not. 80% percent of all patient complaints in hospitals, mention a lack of eye contact between the doctor and the patient. Scientists even suggest that the reason why we’re the only primates in the world with white in our eyes is due to the fact that our eyes are meant to be seen. Eye contact is just that important. But we’ve all met that guy who stares at us just a little too much. Too much eyecontact and you’ll come off as hostile, intimidating, condescending and even straight-up crazy. It can easily make others feel uncomfortable and make you come off as quote unquote too intense. On the other side of the spectrum there’s that guy who barely looks at you when he talks. Too little eye contact and you’ll appear nervous, insincere and disinterested. Lack of eye contact will also make it very hard for you to build friendships and even harder for you to find romance but if you can get it just right you unlock a whole plethora of benefits People with good eye contact come off as significantly more confident and charismatic. Studies have shown that those who maintain a good amount of eye contact are more memorable; are perceived as more popular and are more attractive to members of the opposite sex. But what exactly is good eye contact? Generally the rule to go by is the 80/20 rule. You want to be holding eye contact for eighty percent of the time and you want to be glancing elsewhere for twenty percent of the time. Other key points to keep in mind: Number 1: you want to focus on only one eye. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the right one or the left one. Bold eye contact with just that eye. Number 2: You don’t want to just look you also want to incorporate facial movements depending on the social situation. So let’s say somebody is telling you something, you know, very serious, very personal you don’t just want to look at them. You want to also incorporate some facial movements like furrowing your eyebrows or looking concerned because what this does is it makes the speaker feel like you’re listening to them even more. Number 3: In general when you’re speaking you want to be holding eye contact longer than when you’re listening Number 4: If you’re speaking in front of a group, you want to hold eye contact with every single member of the group while speaking for a couple of seconds so that everyone feels like they’re included in the conversation. Of course all of this stuff is easier said than done. The majority of us fall in the side of the spectrum with two little eye contact. If you have trouble maintaining eye contact in public it may feel uncomfortable to adjust the amount of time you want to be holding eye contact for. But if you really want to reap all the benefits then you’re going to have to be willing to make the change. The easiest way to improve on this body language aspect is to play a little game with yourself. A little game called the staring contest game. Rules are very simple. When you’re walking down the street try to hold eye contact with everyone that passes by. The aim of the game is to resist being the first one to look away. It’s very simple. It’s kind of tough at first but after a couple of days of playing this game you’ll see a massive improvement in your eye contact skills and when you improve your eye contact skills you’ll notice an immediate positive effect throughout all of your social interactions. This episode was brought to you with the help of the guys at audible.com . You guys all know how much I believe in reading on a daily basis but some of us don’t have the time to sit down and read a physical book. I get it, but Audible provides you with over a hundred-eighty thousand books to listen to whether it be on to go, while you’re doing your chores or during your workout. To get your free audio book called an audibletrial.com/improvementpill This week I’m listening to the 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. A book about a guy who works less than four hours a week and manages a multi million-dollar company. Check it out. Besides that stay tuned.