The Late NightCap: Rudy Giuliani’s Phone Is Filled with Condemning Evidence
November 17, 2019
♪♪ -You know that classic
conundrum? What do you get for Elton John
on his birthday? -Yeah.
-You’ve been there. Everyone’s been there. We’re old broads.
We’re like — Bam! -He’s like, “Are you still
playing that Fender?” And I’m like, “Dude, I’m giving
birth, like, right now!” -[ Inhales raspily ] It’s coming! -He invited me to a strip club
in Atlanta. All of the strippers are in
their 60s and 70s. Not like they’re ex-dancer. This is like your grandmother…
-[ Ews ] -…going out there and just
pulling her top down and going… -So I went with my bag of wigs and costumes and
everything, and this — -So you would travel with your
own wigs. Yeah. Okay. -[ Laughs ] ‘Cause you just kind of blew by
like, “You know, I have my bag of wigs
and…” How’d you come up with
Markiplier? -Oh, the story’s so stupid. I wanted to originally do sketch
comedy videos where I play all the characters, so I wanted to “multiply”
myself… -Oh, wow.
-My name’s Mark. -Yeah, that is stupid.
-Yeah, yeah, it’s really stupid. But it’s proof that you don’t
need a good name to be successful.
-You know what, tell me about it. I don’t think
when people heard Seth Meyers they were like, “That is showbiz
magic.” [ Cheers and applause ] Rich people with zero exception
know what they’re doing. That’s why they always do smart,
sane things like leaving all their money to
their cats or going on a podcast and
smoking weed like Elon Musk. [ Strained ] Welcome to the
board meeting. First order of business —
We’re gonna build a rocket… …to White Castle. Rudy Giuliani has done multiple
interviews where he actually showed off his
communications with Trump officials on his
phone and his iPad on national television. You know you’re a bad criminal when you keep the evidence
against you on multiple devices. I’d love to see the storage
chart on his phone. [ Laughter ] When you were growing up, were
you on the Internet a lot? -Uh… [ Laughs ]
-[ Laughs ] What was your chat room life
like? -Oh, you know, just trying to —
you know, practicing flirting, either with girls or people who
I thought were girls. -Yeah. Do you feel like you picked up
some skills? -Uh…yeah, pal. I know how to talk to the
ladies. ASL, babe. -You got two little ones now.
-Yeah. I was never dropped off as a
kid. I was basically —
My parents told me, “Just walk down the sidewalk, and once you see kids that are
your height, start playing with them.” -So much decadence to the point
where I woke up this morning, and I didn’t have a voice,
which initially I was quite panicked about, and then sort of got to thinking
that maybe I sounded a little bit like Jason Statham,
which it could be quite cool. -Oh, very nice. Yeah.
-Does this guy walk around with a camera just right in
front of us? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He’s a crime scene photographer. [ Laughter ] We’ve definitely murdered this
segment. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.