Radio Inspire

How To Learn Sign Language

The Evolution of Emojis


-I got my start on YouTube,
so, obviously, technology has been
a huge, huge part of my life. Tech has been great for health,
hiring people, and helping the planet, although it is
a double-edged sword, because it does all of that but then also helps Nazis
meet one another. [ Laughter ] Had to be real. Recently, I’ve been thinking about how technology has changed
since I was a kid. Like, it wasn’t that long ago
that I was sneaking onto AOL and starting conversations
like, “ASL.” [ Laughter ]
Who remembers ASL? It meant age, sex, location. -Oh.
-Oh. -And nobody ever
answered it honestly. [ Laughter ] Back in the day, AOL chat rooms
were the training ground for young girls to figure out
if a guy was a creep. [ Laughter ] Nowadays, you just know
he’s a creep if he’s still spending time
in AOL chat rooms. [ Laughter, applause ] Stop it! Stop! I’ll never forget —
This is a true story, y’all. I’ll never forget the first time
I saw an emoticon. It changed everything. I was on MSN Messenger.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, that what’s up.
MSN Messenger. And someone sent me
a smiley face. And I was like, “Wha-a-a-t?! [ Laughter ]
How did you do that?” I was shook. And every time my friend
tried to explain how he did it, he’d be like, “It’s easy.
You just type…” And then the emoticon
would come up again, and I would lose my mind
all over again. I didn’t know what to do. So I reported him to MSN
for being a witch, obviously. [ Laughter ]
There was no other way! But now we have emojis
for everything. I mean, if I want
to use the word “penis,” I can just send an eggplant. [ Laughter ] Back in the day,
I had to put major effort into sending that penis emoji. I had to type an 8,
a capital “D.” [ Audience groans ]
And then in the middle, I had to type somewhere between
1 and 10 equals signs, depending on who
I was talking about. Y’all know what
I’m talking about. You know what I’m talking about. [ Cheers and applause ] And it all depended on
who I was talking about. Like, someone with
10 equals signs — Usher. -Oh!
-Oh! -Someone with only
1 equals sign, Mitch McConnell. [ Audience groans, laughs ] Depends. [ Laughter ] The way we watch movies
has changed, too. I remember having
to rewind my VHS tapes every time
I wanted to watch them. I don’t know how many of you
remember VHS tapes. But they were
what we used before DVDs. [ Cheers and applause ] Okay, I don’t know
how many of you remember DVDs. But they’re what we used
before Blu-rays. [ Laughter ] Okay, I don’t know how many
of you remember Blu-rays. But it’s basically what we used
before we torrented everything. [ Laughter ] Modern technology gives us
so much information at our fingertips
but also makes us way dumber. If you give me three seconds,
I can find out which elementary school
Kanye West attended. [ Laughter ] But if you took my GPS away
while I’m right here at work right now, I would never
see my house again. [ Laughter ] It’s two turns, literally. And spell check
has changed everything. Before, if I wanted to write
the word “miscellaneous,” I used to have to really think
about it or, even worse,
look it up in a dictionary. [ Audience groans ] And now I just type “M-I” and just start smashing buttons
on my phone. And it’ll guess what
I’m talking about! It’s great! [ Laughter ] But I will admit, I am a stereotypical millennial. Hello.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. The millennials
make some noise. [ Cheers and applause ] And because of that,
I have anxiety about talking on the phone. [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. You hear that?
That’s the sound of anxiety. [ Laughter ] If one of my friends
calls me on the phone, I’m going to assume that someone
just found their dead body. And even in that scenario,
straight to voicemail. Like, okay.
[ Laughter ] Like, if my doctor says, “We’ll
call you with the test results,” I’m like, “Mm… are you sure we can’t
handle this over text? Just, like, a thumbs-up
or a sad emoji, that will do. Oh, I get it. I get how
there could be some confusion. He could send me a crab emoji,
and I’ll be like, “Oh, my God. I have crabs?”
[ Laughter ] And the doc would be like,
“No, I’m at the beach. I’ll get back to you later.” [ Laughter ] It’s weird, because I grew up
talking on the phone a lot, always calling my friends
on their home landlines. [ Audience cheering ] In case you don’t know, let me
explain what a landline is. It’s like when your phone dies
at the airport and you’re stuck
close to the wall charging it, but all the time! And it was the worst. This guy
knows what I’m talking about. This guy knows exactly
what I’m talking about! This guy has a landline with him
right now. He’s like —
All the way to his house. He just has a landline with him
right now. But it was the worst. And it was especially bad if
your friends’ parents picked up. [ Audience groans ] Because then you
had to make small talk with your friends’ parents.
And let’s be real. The only thing I had in common
with those parents was we both thought their
daughter had been acting weird since she starting smoking weed. I agree, ma’am.
[ Laughter ] It’s been interesting
to be around since the Internet started. Like, in the early days,
the Internet was the Wild West. Now everyone thinks
that FBI agents are constantly
listening to them. See, personally,
I’ve logged my entire life, so if the FBI
is listening to me, yo, please like and subscribe. [ Cheers and applause ] That ship has sailed, fam.
Just saying.

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