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Reading Body Language Myth: Is Your Body Language Authentic?

– Truth or lie? Choosing what body language
you’re going to use in any given situation is
inauthentic and so bad. This is something that
gets talked about a lot at the moment ’cause
people like talking about and like thinking about whether
they are being authentic or not being authentic. And we’re told constantly to be authentic.
– Yeah, inauthentic bad. Inauthentic bad, authentic good. – Find my authentic self,
be my authentic self. – Yeah good. – Yes. – Being inauthentic, bad. – So let’s break this down a bit ’cause I think this is interesting. So if I put a picture on a dating site, I am assuming that I’m going
to put some nice clothes on. I’m probably gonna get my hair done. – Make the best of yourself. – Gonna make the best of myself. – Yeah, you’re in the market. – In the book for example. – Yeah why, you’re married to me. I don’t know why you’re
putting a picture on a site. – Well. – That’s actually pretty upsetting. Anyway. – Why therefore would it
be incorrect to also bring the best body language forward to show the best of yourself. – Right, so look if I need to be confident in an interview. – Right. – Why can’t I use the body language of confidence? – Correct. – ‘Cause I might not be like
totally confident internally, I’m going uh oh, I don’t know
whether I’ll get this or not. I don’t know whether
they’ll like me or not. It might be really important to me. So authentically I may have some anxiety but I want to project
to those interviewers my confidence. So this idea of don’t
fake it until you make it. I don’t think that’s accurate because you can’t fake anything
that you weren’t already gonna be pretty good
at in the first place. You can’t do behaviors
that you don’t already have something of the ability to do. You’re just enhancing,
amplifying, making bigger something that you already have. You know, even Picasso,
even Picasso would look at fake Picasso’s and call them Picasso’s ’cause he thought they were good enough. So the key point is here
that putting on a behavior isn’t necessarily inauthentic. It’s just sometimes showing your best. – For more tips on body language check out our website, and pick up our book, Truth and Lies What People Are Really Thinking.

3 Replies to “Reading Body Language Myth: Is Your Body Language Authentic?”

  • Love it! I think this comes up a lot especially when the subject of mirroring is brought up. However, it's just a way of projecting your best self in a way that others can relate to YOU better. Therefore, it's a better experience for all those involved.

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