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How To Learn Sign Language

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in Action (Part 1)

so what do you wanna do today um to check out some museums and go have some lunch maybe go shopping afterwards okay cool anything that doesn’t involve your mama you say it like it’s a joke haha completely I’m just joking around yeah it’s really funny you’ve been so miserable this whole time like oh come on I mean I’m just brilliant I mean the pair of you think my mom is who she is and I never promised that she was gonna be like the sweetest sweet person to you but he doesn’t sit there all oh this is just venting ah this is so frustrating you know and it’s disappointing as well I read this book nonviolent communication a language of life by Marshall Rosenberg and he makes it sound so easy kinda you know like it can take a long time but it’s basically simple it’s like I empathize with myself and then I empathize with the other person and express what’s going on for me I get in touch with how I’m feeling what my needs are what she’s feeling what her needs are it can take a while but this is video so it’s gonna be very fast you’ll see you know it’s like the whole time I just interrupt I don’t want you to interrupt I just want you did human up this day I just want to find out how you’re feeling at this moment is that okay I’m angry you’re angry yeah and and and you feeling a hurt by this as well just angry and you’re really wanting is it some respect yes and you really wanted to her to see what we’re like together and you feel like that would be nice yeah I understand yeah anything else you’re using that every sister for me aren’t you well I am okay I am using it and and that’s flustering to me okay self empathy I’m flustered that she’s just said that but because I’m really wanting you know some acceptance for my efforts to kind of communicate and connect more you know I’m their empathized with her I guess she’s maybe finding it weird or I can tell her express what’s going on for me you know okay I am doing it yeah NBC what is that oh why can’t you just talk to me why can’t I just talk like without doing MBC yeah can I tell you why I mean doing it okay okay so I think I get into blaming and judgment and criticism like quickly sometimes Bryant yes and I am just trying to connect just trying to have a connection with you and trying to care about what you’re feeling and to actually ask you about it sooner you know and to tell you what I’m feeling that’s what I’m trying to do I mean it sounds good okay good you

28 Replies to “Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in Action (Part 1)”

  • I love it! It was played even in a very sincer way I find. This " you're doing the NVC thing again" really resonates and makes me feel understood, supported (not alone) haha– laughter caused by recognition of self and joy

  • I'm glad you liked this Jess. You might enjoy other videos in the Newt Bailey channel of YouTube, or the Communication Dojo channel.

  • Love the honesty that ensues after getting in touch with feelings. Find practical prices like that reinforcing.

  • I think it can also be helpful, whether they spot that it's NVC, or are just generaly annoyed with your approach & language, to ask them what they don't understand, and search for other terms & strategies to meet the same need in you. But certainly you have to affirm that need for connection/understanding (as is done here) as the basis for your strategy. Because people dont just naturally assume/trust that's the goal. They want it to be though, so if you go as far as to request HELP from them, to meet your need in another way, they'll begin to trust it. Because you're willing to sacrifice strategy & co-create a new strategy with them. And of course, they can also tend to discover that they share the base need of connection & understanding. And they'll have invented NVC "2.0" with you, and be glad to use it in the future.

  • I enjoyed the way this was done — the conversation, then, without "cutting scenes", a simple pan to the right, to focus on one speaker, and his "personal thoughts".

    I see a lot of hyper-edited video, and I get this sensation that practice-as-an-activity becomes less common. Why practice, when one can edit the hell out of their work?

  • Short and sweet… had me in tears as your lover realized all you want to do is connect. I could see that although you are training, your lover was deeply affected by you NVC to her about connecting. XX

  • Fantastic. Love how this was shot, as well as how effectively the video demonstrates NVC principles. Thank you for creating this and sharing with the world.

  • this is SO similar to what me and my most recent intimate relationships like (the scenerio you've created here Newt) hah =) i'd love to see more vids… maybe with more convincing acting… but errr…. yeh! saw this video a while ago… when i first searched NVC in 2011. =) hope you're well mate! Could you drop me an email? [email protected] I'd love to work with ya!

  • my greatest fear is that my gf will say this to me one day as I am practicing. Thank you for this encouragement

  • This is so ahead of my time ( at least here in italy ; for the moment ) ….fantastic!!!
    could it be linked with compassion and loving kindness ?

  • Thanks a lot for this video. I really want to make this work and am trying to improve my communication with others and help them with it too. NVC and this video are super helpful!

  • This actually shows another conversation that this couple should have but they are not having, "I thinks that jokes hides a little pinch of honesty that your boyfriend/husband is not yours mom fan for some reason" show compassion today will not solve yours feelings towards her mom. You may avoid one argument today but I visioning another way bigger tomorrow.
    Be honest is a need that doesn't always come in the package of nice words.

  • It is really unnerving when someone uses NVC on you. They seem like a scripted person. You feel like there is this procedural wall that has come down between you and the other person.

  • There is a reason for a man to criticise her mother, he still have unresolved feelings about her. He should opened up and tell her what is really bothering him. He didn’t express his needs.

  • Just submitted Russian subtitles for this part. Will do for part 2 and 3 tomorrow. Please, approve, so I can repost for my Russian students. We will focus on NVC dance at our next meeting, and I find these videos very helpful to watch before practice. Thank you in advance! And with a heart full of gratitude for letting me doing it. Hugs!

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