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How To Learn Sign Language

Non-Verbal Communication Tools : Non-Verbal Communication: Eye Contact Avoidance

Ok I want to talk about eye avoidance and
eye avoidance can be very, very bad and very, very distracting. This is when you are trying
to have a conversation with a person and they won’t look at you. In fact how would you feel
if I did the rest of this video clip and I never looked up again? It would be very hard
for you to establish a relationship with me because that’s what eye contact does. Is it
allows us to establish a relationship. Even though you’re out there and I’m in here in
this box we can still establish a relationship if I’m looking at you. There are numerous
reasons that people do not make eye contact. But traditionally a lot of it has to do with
self esteem and if they’re lying. Another thing they do if they are lying is they always
look to the left. They look away and look to the left. So eye contact is very important
because if the person that you are talking to is not making eye contact with you, clearly
you can’t establish a relationship, but you also question deceit. Are they telling me
the truth, what’s going on with them? The only thing worse then eye avoidance is continued
staring. I never, ever, ever take my eyes off of you. Maybe I never even blink. These
are the two extremes of natural eye contact. So if you have issues looking at people making
eye contact with them, I strongly encourage you to work on that. Because that has a lot
to do with how they perceive you and the impression that you give. Also be very aware of the staring
people down to the point like you’re burning a hole through them with their eyes like I’m
doing with you right now. That’s making you feel uncomfortable isn’t it, yeah. And that’s
what happens so don’t do that.

25 Replies to “Non-Verbal Communication Tools : Non-Verbal Communication: Eye Contact Avoidance”

  • not true.
    and different cultures have their own rules of eye contact behavior.
    people can lie to you while looking you in the eyes, and be telling the truth while looking away.

  • If u r reading this, then u will find a dead bloody body hanging in ur closet. U will be haunted and killed by her. to stop it posti this to 6 other videos in 30 GOOD LUCK!!!

  • Disagree!

    If someone looks to the LEFT they are going back into memory. (recollection)
    = truth.

    If they look to the their RIGHT it's called AUDITORY CONSTRUCTION, which means they are making it up.

    * but it's opposite if you are dealing with a left handed person.

  • not necessarliy true that people look to left if lying if fast car goes past they could be looking at that – but also if Normally or Reverse Organised
    Look into this more dear viewers – challenge absolutes

  • ambiose – you're missing loads in here
    If NORMALLY Organised – people look up and left for VISUAL recall – side and left for AUDITORY recall – opposite side for Visual and Auditory recall
    think about the brain of Norm Org people – left brain = logic etc incl memory
    right brain = creative etc incl imagination

  • As an expert in this field (and many other fields :)), my professional opinion is that you are doing a great job and this is an excellent video.! 🙂

  • So what am i suppose to do when i'm not looking at the person?
    If i look away i'll just get distracted by something else or i'll look shy and timid or like i lost interest which i probably did.

  • NLP told that when people tell a lie, they will look to their RIGHT – our LEFT. But in this video, she said people look to their LEFT – out RIGHT. So what's the correct answer?

  • In East & Southeast Asia, the natives avoid eye contact all the time just because it's considered polite and non-confrontational.

    Drives me nuts.

  • What's the rule with eye contact when walking a long and someone else is walking towards you, or sitting in a circle in class? I struggle with this because I never know where to look. I feel if I look at someone they'l think I'm staring or I'll have a strange look on my face and they'll think I'm weird or think I am being rude gah, I don't know.

  • And when I go with a group of people, I'm always behind everyone, or in front, I just can't stand walking next to someone else..

  • I don't make eye contact because when I was growing up, my alcoholic mother never looked at me. After adopted, eye contact with new mother meant I got screamed at for nothing. Later lack of eye contact made my mother suspicious I was being secretive.

    As an adult, I lost friendships because I didn't look people in the eye. Later, I learned they thought it was because I was disdainful of their attention and thought I was smarter than they were. Stuck up. Geez, there's no winning, is there?

  • I look to the left in thought during conversations but don't lie. That's a horrible urban myth to say about people. It is a theory, not fact. What's scary is they teach it to policemen and the armchair psychology public. Stop it. 🙁

  • ill be first to admit that i AM NOT a people person (i prefer animals) i only ever make eye contact with close friends and well known family members. anyone else is out of luck (whether I'mm lying or being honest) unless i get to know you really well. i think the only time i ever make eye contact with a stranger is when I'm really pissed at them for something or trying to make them back off. lol so my eye contact is a bad thing.

  • I cannot look people in the eye without feeling weird and sometimes physically ill.
    I'll always look them in the eye (or in the near vicinity) when we first meet on any occasion but then I keep my focus on anything around them. Maybe shooting their face a very quick glance now and again to show im actually listening.

    I've worked on this problem for several years trying to get better at it but it actually seems to get worse. I just hate it

  • As somebody with Aspergers, i'd like to point out that eye contact is far to personal for me. The further i can distance myself from somebody, better i can feel about communicating.

  • actually looking to the left doesnt mean they are lying. this was debunked ages ago. when you break eye contact mid conversation its to recall a memory or to make one up meaning that breaking eye contact doesnt nessasserily mean they are lying because the brain treats lies as real on an unconcious level.

    get schooled ignorant.

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