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LANGUAGES OF LOVE » powerfully strengthen relationships

I surprisingly get messages from you guys all the time asking about relationship advice And I’m really honored that you guys asked but I also need to say I’m not a relationship therapist or specialist, or counselor I mean, this is not my area of expertise But I do think I know something that can really really help because since I personally learned about it It’s helped to strengthen my relationships in every sense whether it’s my partner, friends, family even in the workplace It’s actually something I’ve been wanting to share with you since I started Pick Up Limes so without further ado,
Let’s dive in Now a little bit of background here The information I’m gonna share with you in this video is based on a book called the five love languages by Gary Chapman I learned about the love languages a little over four years ago but at the time I didn’t know it was a book I was hanging out with a friend of mine and the topic of relationships came up And she was really surprised to know I hadn’t heard of the love languages before So she started to explain it to me a lot of relationships fail, she said,
not because we’re not putting in the effort but because we’re maybe showing our love or appreciation in the wrong ways you see, there’s five basic love languages and these are the ways that we express,
but also receive love the way that one person feels loved might not necessarily be the same as the way another person feels loved So the five love languages are as follows 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Receiving Gifts 4. Acts of Service 5. Physical Touch. Let me just take a moment
to explain these to you a little bit more Words of affirmation include sharing verbal encouragement and kind thoughtful words for example giving genuine praise and credit Sharing a meaningful compliment or using a tone of voice that’s kind and loving and for this person It’s important that requests are made and not demands one of the deepest human needs is to feel appreciated and validated And that’s especially true for somebody who has words of affirmation high on their love language ranking Quality time is giving somebody your undivided attention so watching TV together might not necessarily count For this person having quality conversations is part of having quality time And they want meaningful interactions where the focus is primarily on them or on each other Time is a precious commodity for this person and knowing that you’re spending your time on them means a great deal Receiving gifts is not a shallow way of expressing love because for this person it shows them that you not only thought about them But that you actually went through the effort of acquiring that thing that made you think of them And then you gave it to them These can be gifts that are purchase, found or made and for these people Gifts are a visual symbol of love Active service include doing things you think the other person would appreciate if you did so for example doing the dishes, ironing clothes, cooking dinner, cleaning out the car or taking on any projects to relieve the other person of stress or additional burden If done with a positive spirit, this can absolutely be a way to show love so if your partner has this ranking as their primary love language To them actions might speak louder than words We all know how powerful physical touch can be when it comes to showing love or appreciation whether it’s an affirming pat on the back from a colleague a warm hug from a friend a kiss on the forehead from a parent or maybe something a little bit more affectionate from a romantic partner this includes sitting close to the other person when you’re watching a movie Holding hands when you go for a walk giving them a massage or placing a firm hand on their shoulder
when you leave or enter a room whatever it is for this person,
physical touch is the primary representation of love Now back to my friend
who was sharing with me this story She said that each person has a bit of a different ranking system when it comes to these love languages where One tends to be more dominant than the others, and this is what we would call our primary love language Now it’s important to note that we often give love in the way that we would like to receive it After we had this conversation I really wanted to learn more and that’s when she told me there’s a test you can take now I’m gonna leave that link for the test in the description box below in case you’re interested in taking it as well Having taken the test myself It was really interesting to know what my primary love language was But then the question became What were the primary love languages of the people in my life I of course wasn’t gonna expect that everyone was gonna take this test so what I started to do was predict what I thought their love languages were based on our actions suddenly the love languages of those in my life became crystal clear I began to give them love back in the way that they were giving it to me And I very quickly noticed our relationships strengthened more and more Now I’ve only just scratched the surface here with the explanations and examples I provided in this video And there is just such a depth of information in this book that I highly recommend anybody and everybody learns the author Gary Chapman is a family therapist and in the book he offers a whole bunch of tips and strategies on how to adopt a better understanding or practice of a love language that might not be your primary love language So that you can better connect with others I also want to take a moment to express some words of appreciation and gratitude to Audible as many of you know They have been kind enough to support the Pick Up Limes channel for a while and when I told them I wanted to create this video They were also kind enough to sponsor it I’ll leave a link for you in the description box below now I’m curious to know before you go ahead and take that test what you think your primary love language is Let me know in the comments section below, and if you feel like showing me a little bit of extra love you can always do that by clicking that little thumbs up button it always means a lot when you do. Alright Thanks a lot for watching. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone Pick Up Lime signing off. We’ll see you in the next video You

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