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How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)


Hey Ambitious Professionals! It’s Linda Raynier of lindaraynier.com guiding
you to a career and life you’ll truly enjoy. And in today’s video I’m gonna teach you 4
key tips on how you can reduce your level of shyness when talking to people whether
it’s your boss, your co-workers or anyone you meet in a professional setting. Now as a Career Strategist I’ve had the honor
of being able to help numerous professionals land their dream job offers. So if this is something that you’re interested
in working with me one-on-one I can give you details about that at the end of this video. When I asked corporate professionals what
it is that tends to hold them back from getting the jobs that they want or from developing
deeper relationships with others at work I tend to hear: “I’m really shy”, “I don’t know
how to talk to people well”, “I get nervous”, “I just don’t know what to say”. If this is you know that this is completely
normal. Shyness is a completely natural reaction and
you shouldn’t beat yourself up because you tend to be shy in front of others. So today I’m gonna help you to understand
where I believe your shyness really comes from and my four tips on how you can overcome
it in society a lot of us tend to think of people as people who are gentle who are sweet
who are nice kind of fragile but of course they just don’t talk a lot because they’re
shy and that may or may not be true and if you’re someone who shy you may have those
qualities as well maybe you were born into a certain culture or society where you were
raised to believe that you need to be humble you need to be conservative and you can’t
be too extroverted because that’s not a quality that is good to have in that certain culture
society and as a result of that you’ve become this person who is shy but here’s the thing
that you really should know shyness is something that can be learned and practice over time
yes you may have a tendencies to be shy but that’s because you’ve practiced it all your
life so if you wanna stop being shy you can you just simply have to even learn it from
within yourself and here’s a Fact that once you realize that this is true for you if you’re
someone who’s shy will actually help you to really learn and eliminate the shy tendencies
and here it is the reason why you are shy and why you tend to have trouble connecting
with others when you’re talking to people is because you’re current attention isn’t
on that other person that you’re talking to but instead your way to focus on yourself
you’re saying I don’t think they like me I don’t know how to talk to them I’m worried
what they think of me right now I hope I don’t say the wrong thing and with all of these
worries and thoughts you cut yourself off from being able to have a truly meaningful
conversation with this other person because you’re way too consumed with yourself and
if you were to be honest with yourself I know that you would agree with me you’re way too
lost in your own head with your own thoughts about yourself so now that you know why and
where your shyness comes from let’s talk about how you can help yourself to overcome it so
The solution to stop being shy tip number one is to adopt a curious mind set when you’re
in a situation where you’re talking to other people shift your focus away from yourself
from your own fears and nervousness away from you and towards the other person shift your
focus to the other person this may sound silly but a good way to think of it is act as though
you’re almost a news reporter and you’re trying to interview someone and you’re trying to
get information for a new segment that you’re doing as a news reporter Adopt a curious mind
set because you wanna know more about that other person that you’re talking to so by
adopting a curious mind set you were able to engage with them you’re asking them questions
you’re wanting to learn more about them and your full energy is focused on learning about
that other person so when you’re at the office and you come across a coworker just ask them
questions like whether they up to what are they’re doing you know what are they working
on what are they eating and you wanna ask from a genuine Curiosity not from a place
of I’m asking these questions because I wanna be accepted this number two is to elaborate
on your responses when someone asked you questions don’t just give them one word answers for
example if they asked you are you enjoying the work that you’re doing don’t just say
yes and leave it at that say yes I’m enjoying the work that I’m doing because of reason
number one and reason number two and maybe even reason number three and this leads me
to tip number three which is have a Another way to connect with the other person is instead
of just giving them one word answers or just giving them a couple of sentences have a story
to share have a story that you can tell them about that relates to the exact topic that
the both of you are talking about as humans we love to hear stories and when you’re able
to share a story that is meaningful to whatever it is that you’re talking about with another
person you’re able to engage them further and this is what develops your bond with the
other person in a closer way so the three components to a good story include the situation
setting up Telling them what happened in that situation what was going wrong what were the
issues how you were feeling and how they were feeling then move on to telling them about
what you did as a result of that situation what you were your action steps and then finally
what was the end results and finally with tip number four be present and listen intently
have you ever been in a situation where you are talking to someone they ask you a question
and you’re answering their question but you can tell that they’re not even really listening
to your answer there just waiting for you to finish talking so that they can jump in
and ask you another question don’t do that don’t Be waiting for them to finish answering
your previous question just to ask them another question because they’ll know that you didn’t
actually listen to what they said here’s a fact people usually can tell when you’re not
listening to them and when you’re lost in your own thoughts as much as you may think
that you’re good at disguising it is quite noticeable for most of us and here’s a quote
that I think is very fitting for this topic and it is quote by isaac Newton and he says
we build too many walls and not enough bridges so there you have it my four tips on how you
can overcome shyness and start building bridges with other people now if you’re someone who’s
been looking for a new career who’s been searching for Position and you haven’t been getting
much luck with your interviews and with your resume and you realize that you need one on
one guidance then feel free to reach out to me head on over to my website lindaraynier.com/standoutgethired
read through the page fill out the application form and if my team and I feel that we’re
a match then we will reach out to you directly if you like this video and please give it
a thumbs up subscribe share with your friends thank you so much for watching and I will
see you in the next video

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