Radio Inspire

How To Learn Sign Language

How to communicate effectively & GET RESULTS!

Hello. My name’s Ronnie. Are you a mother or a father, or a teacher
or someone? Are you someone? Are you a human? Me too. I want to tell you something that’s really,
really cool and amazing. The way that we speak to students or the way
that you speak to children or even other people, if you’re a boss or you are a manager of someone
or of a company – it’s very, very important the way that you speak to people because if
you are very direct with people, they will not respond to you, and they will close down,
they will lose their confidence, and they will not do what you need them to do. I’m a teacher. Surprise. And in a classroom, there is certain language
that you can use to help students motivate them… To help motivate students, and there’s also
certain language that you can use with children or with employees to help motivate them
or encourage them. So, what I’m going to teach you today is English
phrases that you probably use, and maybe they’re not getting the results that you need in your
place of work, at home with children, or in a classroom. And the reason why is it’s because how people
react to what you say. If someone throws you negative energy, you’re
not going to respond very well to them. For example, if you’re upset and someone says:
-“Just relax. Don’t worry.” -“Don’t tell me to relax. I’m angry.” The worst thing you can do is tell someone
to relax, because it makes it worse. So, I’m going to go through some harsh phrases
and how to make them softer to encourage people to get them to do what you want. “Manipulation” is another word. So, as a teacher, I know that sometimes students
do not understand something. Now, I know because of their faces; they have
a blank stare, or they look around, or they look at the ground. So, as a teacher, you say: “Okay. Do you have any questions?” And, of course, you are shy. You don’t want to ask the teacher a question. Maybe you will look stupid if you ask the
teacher a question. So, teachers, instead of saying: “Do you have
any questions?” and waiting in silence, it would be better to say: “I’m here to help. Please ask me.” It’s the same thing if you are in a job, or
you are the manager of someone, or you are the boss of someone. Instead of saying: “Do you have any questions?”
you can be nice and say: “I’m here to help you, so please ask me questions. Feel free to ask me questions.” This makes you more approachable. “Approachable” means easier to talk to, because
you need to make sure that the people respect you, and then you can have a good relationship,
whether it be in the classroom, at a job, or with your children, or anyone really. “Why don’t you understand? Oh my god, you’re so stupid.” So, obviously there is a problem; maybe with
instructions, or language, or communication. Instead of asking the person: “Why don’t you
understand?” because they don’t know why they understand, you could say something like:
“Oh, hey. Let me show you again.” Or: “Let me tell you again how to do it.” Again, you’re taking the person and
making them help you. You want to help the person. You don’t want the person to feel stupid or
feel not good about themselves; you want to encourage people in a classroom, you want
to encourage your children to learn. As soon as you stop doing that, people shut
off; they don’t want to learn from you, they don’t want to take guidance from you, especially
in a job. You’re supposed to be a leader if you’re a
manager. You’re supposed to give people guidance. And if you don’t do that properly, no one’s
going to follow you. Your team, it’s not going to work too well. So: “Shut up! Oh my god!” I understand, as a parent, children are loud,
or in a classroom the classroom gets crazy; students are loud. You want to just scream: “Shut up!” or “Be
quiet!” Okay, do it. But if that doesn’t work, another method you
could say is, especially to children: “Please speak in a quieter voice.” So, maybe your kids are running around the
house, screaming and yelling, or they’re just so excited: “Wah! Oh my god!” That’s good. It’s good to show excitement, but it’s better
to say to them: “Please talk in a quieter voice. Please be more quiet. You don’t have to stop talking, but just keep
the level down.” There’s something I think from The Simpsons,
and they had a thing: “Inside voice and outside voice.” So, when you go outside, you have to speak
louder because there’s more interference; when you’re inside, your voice should be quieter. So, some people say: “Use your inside voice”,
which means be a little quieter. Do you know people that use their outside
voice all the time? Like on the phone: “Hey, Mom! How’s it go-…” Hey. Don’t yell at the phone; your Mom can hear
you. This is a problem with children, with other
people who aren’t children (adults) – a lot of kids like to say bad words. I say bad words. But you don’t want your child to go to school
and tell someone off or use bad words to children because it’s not cool. So, you can say to your child: “Hey, hey,
hey. Do you know what? Let’s… let’s please speak with respect to
other people. You might be angry right now or you might
have a problem, but bad words do not solve anything. Let’s talk with respect and try and
work out the problem.” It’s the same in an office. If two office… If co-workers are going crazy, and they’re… They’re: “Ah!” They hate each other, they want to kill each
other or there’s a problem – don’t use bad words because, again, that escalates into
violence. Oh, that’s chaos. Not that bad, but it just has bad energy. So, try and get the person to use a calmer
voice and talk about things. This is really good for children because kids
love to do this. I guess I’m a kid; I like to make a mess,
too. So, kids like to make a mess. “Make a mess” means put things everywhere,
get things dirty, colour on things, leave toys everywhere. Kids do this; it’s natural. And you get angry because you have to clean it. But, hey, how about you get your kid to clean it? How about you teach them how to be responsible
with their things? So, instead of saying: “Ah, you made a mess!”
you can say: “Woo! It looks like you had fun today. Let’s clean it up now. I’ll help you.” Or: “You’ll clean this up and it’ll be better.” You want to encourage the child to clean up
his or her own mess. Not you; you’re not the maid of your child. You want to teach the kid responsibility and
how to do things for themselves; very important. Next one. Now, this is something that is very frustrating. You give people instructions at a job, in
a classroom, or for anyone, and they do it wrong or they just don’t do it, and you say:
“Oh my god. I already told you how to do this. Why didn’t you do it the correct way? What’s wrong with you?” So this shuts the person down; they will not
want to do anything for you again. So, instead of saying this, you can say: “Oh,
do you know what? Let me give you another example of how I want
you to do this or how this could be done.” Maybe the person didn’t really understand
you, and that’s why they didn’t do it the way you wanted them to,
or they’re just being disrespectful. You always have to find out the proper situation first. Is the person doing this because they just
want to, or do they clearly not understand what’s happened? If that’s the case, give them another example,
tell them again, help them. If you help them, they help you; it’s a two-way street. This is a big one, too. Now, people overreact all the time. And as I told you at the beginning: “Relax. Oh my god. You’re taking life too seriously.” Well, everyone is entitled to their own emotions. If something makes you angry or something
makes you sad, that’s fine; those are your emotions, and you have the right to express
them any way you want. But if you tell someone: “You’re overreacting! Relax! Calm down!” this makes the person sadder,
makes them cry more, or it makes them more angry. You don’t want to do that. You want the person to relax, but without
telling them. So, you can say: “Hey, hey, hey. Don’t worry.” Maybe you give your child a task to do and
they can’t do it, say: “Don’t worry. Try it again. You can do it.” You need to encourage children, you need to
encourage people if they fail to do it again, and again, and again. By this time, just give up. I mean, come on. They’re never going to do it. But you need to tell them to at least try to do it. It’s kind of like me and math. I’m terrible in math, and I just gave up. Now I have a calculator. Yes. Thank you, cell phones. Math teachers, I don’t need your help. Another thing that we do because we understand
more than a student, or more than a child, or maybe more than a worker is we tell people: “What? It’s not hard; it’s easy. Come on. Why can’t you do this?” So, this makes the person feel stupid. “Oh my god. I can’t do this.” Especially children, if you say: “Come on,
you can… Why can’t you do this?” the child feels like
they don’t want to try even. So, again, you’re going to encourage them. Say: “Do you know what? Oh, this is hard for you; that’s okay. Let me help you. You can do it.” Again, when you encourage people, it makes
them want to try the thing again. So, if you are a teacher in a classroom and
you’re having control issues with your class, or if you are a mother or a father or a babysitter
or you have kids around you and you need them to follow your instructions and respect you,
if you’re a boss at a job or a manager and the employees aren’t working well together
– I want you to examine yourself. I want you to look to see if you are a good
leader; if you are using language that actually encourages people or most of the time-and
I do this, too-we use language that makes people close up and not want to help. So, take a look at yourself, and then you
can help the people that need your guidance. This is all the tips I have for today. Go out, have fun at work,
and encourage people to be good. Don’t be evil.

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