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An Autistic Perspective – Communication Styles


okay so I wanted to talk a little bit
this week about communication styles because my communication style has
definitely changed over the years when I was a little child elementary
school-aged and probably up through middle school maybe even into high
school I was a little kid who would had no like mouth filter – and you know like
the kid who would tell that all their mom’s embarrassing secrets as loud as
possible to everyone without understanding why mom might want some
secrets – or telling everyone how old their mom was. That was me – my poor mom!
Sorry mom! – but she was wonderful about that. Thanks!
and so ah – my computer is falling! – Ahh! that changed at some point and I grew
out of that but even you know into my teens
especially and into early adulthood I still I guess maybe a good way to
describe it would be. . . kinda blunt very blunt or I’ll I rather say I’m very
honest but you know kind of blunt and sometimes even harsh, like way of
speaking to people and I had a very I could often be very blunt and very harsh
when delivering criticism or you know just very honest and I didn’t realize
that that level of honesty can really hurt people sometimes and I didn’t
realize that some people were a little bit more sensitive
then I was and actually you know if I think back on it I probably wouldn’t
have appreciated being spoken to the way I spoke to people back then but I just
had no idea for a while and fortunately for me along the way I was very lucky
and I encountered mentors often at work and in the workplace and you know in
real life too you know in my day to day life
you know I encountered people who were good enough to point out to me in a
constructive way when I said something that might be misunderstood or mistaken
by somebody because until I had someone there helping me and pointing out these
things to me I really just had no idea no idea at all so I’m really grateful to
have had you know those mentors and a lot of it was in the workplace and I I
guess maybe part of it’s from my not liking being told what to do I’ve always
kind of gravitated towards like management in the workplace and I they
they want managers to be able to deal with their team’s in a certain way and
it was very and I guess ly it was almost just like. . . . . . I was just determined to get
there you know at work and I had to take a lot of classes and learn from either
just from from quite a few mentors like how to speak to people in a better way
because you can’t berate your co-workers and your employees and I had to learn to
soften my speech a little bit and to learn when you know sometimes it’s
better to keep something to yourself because I was very bad at that for a
long time too and you know at first I was just like
why should I have to change you know my communication style they just shouldn’t
be so sensitive it’s how I was i but as I’ve grown older I’ve realized that I
really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings anyway and because I wasn’t
intentionally trying to you know be nasty and learning to soften my
communication style and learning to you know understand that other people have
different communication styles and just kind of learning about other
communication styles and they you know has helped me to communicate better and
it’s helped me to do better in the work world and with you know having a career
and you know in business but it’s also helped me you know do better in life in
general and you know I think it would just be it’s just important you know
because everyone has a different communication style for us to kind of
all learn and understand about the different communication styles that are
out there so that we can really like all can communicate better you know we can
all find ways that we can just meet in the middle and meet each other so that
just everyone has a little bit more harmony I guess a little bit more
understanding and that’s kind of what it takes is patience and understanding and
just kind of learning about how other people communicate because this is, you
know, not just an autism, autistic, non-autistic thing this is a
person-to-person thing this is a country to country thing this is you know
culture to culture thing language thing this is this is a big issue for every
human just the different communication styles because different things are
appropriate even in different parts of the world
autistic or not so I just wanted to make a little video just talk about
communication styles I just put some thoughts out in people’s heads about how
you know there are no when you’re not getting your point across and just kind
of think that you know you know just think about near the person party like
think what’s their communication style and pay attention to that when you’re
interacting with people study that kind of thing yeah it’s but just learning
about it is can be really helpful that’s been really helpful to me and I just
thought I would share just my perspective on that anyway if you like
this video let me know and give me a thumbs up maybe I’ll do more videos like
this one you enjoy my content I put out videos every Wednesday so I will see you
next week don’t forget to subscribe

2 Replies to “An Autistic Perspective – Communication Styles”

  • Communication style has always been a challenge for me as well..sometimes I might even give away too much "information" 😂😂😂. Sometimes even now I tend to give away things and try to get people to deliver their opinions to me purposely. I use to have a bad sense of humor growing up as a kid and I had mentors too from my school career with teachers. Do you know how I can stop giving away information?

  • For me, I'd say my style has been about learning to communicate more and better. As often growing up I was shy and quiet; often if feeling frustrated or overwhelmed I would keep those feelings inside until everything bubbled up. Luckily over time, I'm working on sharing more what I'm feeling or concerns so that things don't all of a sudden become too much. Of course there are times, where I've still experienced feeling overwhelmed, but have better become aware of what could have helped and have worked to learn that it's okay to speak up. Communication in the work place, especially was where I really learned the importance of communicating and how it helps working with others or a part of a team, as you said it brought greater understanding and helped us work through any concerns that I had.

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