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7 Brutal Dating Mistakes That Turn Men Off

My dear elegant ladies,
welcome back to another video. Today’s video is all about discussing
some of the worst and brutal dating mistakes ladies make.
I am just here to raise awareness. So let’s start with the video
and let’s start with number one. One of the most common things that
I think the female species just love doing and that is to find excuses to call
or contact or write to a man first. Women can be analyzing, obsessing, coming up over reasons to why a man is
not responding or taking contact with them first, or why they should take charge
instead and do it themselves. A common one that I know and I’m sure some of you
are guilty to this one, you’re in the initial stages of dating
and you’ve been on a date with a man for the first time,
and then after the date, you message him first to
thank him for the date. Wrong. That is not how it’s supposed
to be done. A man is the hunter. A man takes initiative
until your relationship has reached a point where you are being serious and exclusive
with each other. But in the initial stages, they are so crucial. You cannot afford to be showing too
much interest. I’m sorry to say, but the man is the hunter.
Regardless of gender roles today, he will value you more. He will
really be more interested in you. I know that it’s a cliche ladies,
but it works and it has always worked. There is a psychological reason
to why this cliche works, so please take it serious and stop
messaging or calling him first. Number two, and this is going to offend or maybe
even make some of you very upset. You go on the date with him and this is
actually doesn’t matter if you’re in the initial stages of dating or
if you’re even married to the man, a woman pulling out her wallet to offer
to pay or to pretend she’s offering to pay. It doesn’t matter if you want
to pay or you don’t want to pay, you are never to pull out your
wallet in front of a man ever. And I’m serious, ever. Men earn
more on average in our society, men are the protectors by nature. Men are the ones that should
be looking after a woman. But I know gender roles are changing to something that I personally
don’t want to be associated with. It’s not for the good and it’s
definitely not good for the woman. But if you are there on each date
offering to pay or pretend that you’re inclined to pay, then ultimately, what happens is
that we are spoiling men this way. We are showing that it’s okay for the
woman to pay when it’s actually not. And luckily, there are some cultures
where this is totally taboo, like middle Eastern cultures, even in Russian cultures and some
other cultures around the world. But there are some
cultures and unfortunately, I’m from one of those cultures where it’s
expected that the woman offers to pay or pay half the bill.
Shout out Sweden and Germany, and the whole Scandinavia by the way,
and a few other places too. Let’s have a discussion in the comments
section below which countries women are expected to pay. Regardless which
culture you belong to, ladies, stop offering. If he gets put off by you, if he starts imagining that you
are some form of gold digger, then you know what?
This is not a generous man. This is not a gentle man. I don’t think this is the high quality
man that you want to be investing in. Because this man is always going to
be 50/50 with you and that is a very depressing direction to take in life.
So make sure you get out now. Number three, big, big mistake
ladies to look available. And if you don’t understand
what I’m talking about, there is this kind of aura about some women,
while a lot of women actually. We can just know that she’s
single and she’s looking. Not necessarily that she’s throwing
herself in front of all men, although we do have
a few like that too. And that is a big no, no too
ladies. But I’m talking about, let’s say, you’re sitting in a restaurant,
a woman who is hunting. You see it on her because she
will be looking around a lot. She will literally be sitting there
with the sign on her face saying, I’m waiting for somebody to start
talking to me. I want to meet somebody here. And men smell this.
And they read body language. They’re not stupid in the
end of the day. So of course, a woman’s chances of number one,
meeting a high-quality man becomes less. Number two, she sends out
the wrong message about her and she puts off
the high-quality men. Of course, she will get the playboys and
the pickup artist and all those guys. Those will approach her definitely
because they say she’s available. But a man who is really looking for
a woman of high quality himself, he hates desperation. Desperation freaks him out.
So you have to really take a step back. Have you ever heard about this
expression when people say, “I always end up meeting men with I’m
in the relationship. Oh, I wonder why”? Exactly for this reason because
when you are unavailable, that’s when you become
more attractive and it’s for a very valid
psychological reason. By the way, ladies, I do have a free cheat sheet for those
of you who are single and looking. If you want to know where to meet
high-quality men, make sure to visit. because I have a free cheat sheet for you
of 210 places where the affluent men gather. So make sure you visit. Number four, a lot of high-quality men,
believe it or not, can be quite put off when
a woman is a bit too glamorous. And this is a little bit annoying, I must say because I think,
it’s slightly unfair. A woman should be glamorous and beautiful
as she pleases. But unfortunately, there is a psychological obstacle there
because an overly glamorous woman makes many men think that she’s
too high maintenance. They have this stereotype of this category
of women and it’s not in the favor for the woman. So it’s really important to think about
this one and play along a little bit. Tone it down. Some women
say that men like that, they just cannot maintain
a woman of that standard. So they are anyway, not good. Well I’m sure there
are a few men like that as well, but actually, there’s a lot of good men
out there and I’ve heard them truly say this. And it does sometimes come across as the
wrong marketing when a woman is looking overly glamorous, like literally red carpet is her everyday
carpet and the man is a little bit confused. Because men want to also find kind
of their best friend or a companion, a life partner, somebody
who is not necessarily, glammed up 24/7. They also want to have the girl
next door as the woman they marry. So for that reason, of course,
you should dress up. Of course, you should look best and
really be attractive for a man, but make sure you don’t go over the top. And if you feel that you might be the
woman who is very glamorous and you’re still single, it can be worth for you to try out and
tone a little bit of your outfits or appearance down, and see if you will
have any improvements. Number five, and this, I tell my students in my
elite finishing school all that time. So for them this will be
repetition, but it’s okay. If you’re interested in joining
them, by the way, visit. Brutal dating mistake, a lady only dating
one man at a time. Now, apologies to all of you, very conservative ladies watching my
channel and some who could not do it for maybe cultural reasons, but this dating strategy is extremely
effective in today’s harsh dating climate. I mean, men have always dated
multiple women at the same time. And today’s fast paced
climate and especially, the fast paced dating climate with the
strong availability of women and men because of online dating,
you really have to step up a notch. Because it’s not getting easier
to meet your mate even though, it should be easier with all
the dating apps available. That’s one reason to why you need more
than one man that you’re dating at the same time because you simply
need to maximize your options. You also need to have a few men just so
that you emotionally detach and I mean, if we go back to the first point that
I mentioned, not being too interested, too available, too over the guy. Then this is really going to help you because when we are only
dating one person at a time, we are obsessing about that person and
women tend to become a little bit more emotionally attached the men and maybe, shift their focus too strong on one person
because that’s kind of our instinct. We do it with our children, so I think it’s also quite normal that
we do it in other relationships too, more than maybe the man does. So date multiple men at the same time. This does not make you a
loose woman of any sort. Don’t let society control you ladies. We just do what men have
been doing for centuries. Number six, if you’re guilty to this one,
then make sure to leave a comment. Brutal mistake is to upload bikini pictures
or glamorous skimpy pictures on your online dating profile. Regardless
if you are on Tinder, Bumble, or whatever site you
use for online dating. Ladies, do not have any pictures
where you are lightly dressed. I know that it’s perfect to grab
the attention of men because yes, they will most likely swipe
right on you. Is it right, they swipe when they want you?
I think so. Okay. Yes. Men will message you more when
you are showing off your body. If it’s a nice body but it’s just not
worth the first impression that you leave. You will attract more men
who are just in for the meat. You might also actually put off some men
who are looking for somebody serious. Again, a lot of men who
are looking for serious, they want to have a little bit of girl
next door flavor because that’s what really makes them connect. I have this male friend and I remember
he was showing me this profile of a woman that he was really interested in and he
was talking to her for quite some time. But he was really put off by the pictures
that she had put and he really was insecure if she really was a
high quality woman. I mean, don’t forget men are so simple minded
when it comes to evaluating women. They really do think in stereotypes, so you really have to be
cautious about these things. So no skimpy pictures of you
on your online dating profiles. Now lastly, ladies, we have come
to the last point. A big, brutal, brutal mistake that actually I think,
majority of women do is to hold their personality back. They become
a little bit more reserved, which of course,
it can work for some men. I know a lot of ladies do
the mystery kind of strategy, which is also very effective,
especially on certain types of men. But on the general masses of men, you actually win more if you just
show your personality and you really, really are yourself. I know
that it sounds like a cliche. Just be yourself.
But yes, ladies, you have to let your personality
shine and while, okay, you don’t want to maybe show certain parts
of your personality that maybe no man should see ever. But we have a personality that
is a pleasant, fun, relaxed, happy personality with a little bit
of our own flavor to it that is really important that you show.
Because first of all, that’s how a person connects to you and
you really want the man to feel he has a connection with you as early
as possible in the date. But your personality is also the entertainment.
If a man is bored with you, he will not want to see you again. So you have to really think about relaxing
and just letting yourself really go into who you are, aka being
yourself. And maybe if yes, if the man doesn’t like your
personality, then the cliche, he was just not for you.
Make sure now to watch my other video, Things Men Notice First In Women because this one is going
to give you more insights to the mind of a man.
I will see you in that video.

100 Replies to “7 Brutal Dating Mistakes That Turn Men Off”

  • Thank you for watching! Which cultures are you aware of that expect women to be 50/50? And if you still haven’t, watch my related video 7 Things Men Notice First In Women & Find Attractive:

  • I agree that men earn more and spend less on e.g. getting ready than women but I think it is nice of a woman to offer to pay from time to time. My boyfriend earns more than me and I think it is only fair he treats most of the time but I feel like sometimes I can treat with drinks or sth little because it makes me feel better even tho he is the spender in our relationship. And if I ever offered to pay for sth more expensive he won't let me do it and I feel that's okay.

  • I've been married for 30 years and still enjoyed the video! You look beautiful in that very sophisticated dress!🌷

  • Hi, loving the hair in this video. I just have a quick question, you always mention relationships etc between a man and a woman, however I’m sure there are affluent people who are gay but you never mention any advise for those who are??? Just a little thing I noticed.

  • Okay so I'm DEFINITELY the glam one 🙈lol. Now I need to figure out how to tone it down? Could you please send me and do a video? Xxx

  • Thank you! Sometimes we know this but we need to hear it from other women, specially strong women since nowadays yes, we are expected to pay or "help" them to let them know you're interested. I'm from Mexico in my 30's and men expect women to give more and more…very sad.

  • Dear elegant lady, love how you start and intro us!! 🙌🏼 your dress is exquisite looks just right and flattering, may I ask where is it from ?

  • What are some elegant ways you recommend to downplay or hide a bust? I'm asking because in downplaying that area it's easy for me to look a bit frumpy.
    I'm not trying to have a bunch of suggestive photos up – I don't have a bikini photo up or anything of that nature. But my bust size is frequently brought up – that's usually my sign to block him. For the most part I have photos from the shoulders up, but it feels a little weird when those are my only photos.

  • 1) thanking him after the date, dont show too much interest regarding of gender roles 2) offering to pay or pretend she’s wanting to pay, men earn more in society despite gender roles, spoiling men when! stop offerring 3) look available — single and looking — hunting: putting off high quality men, desperation freaks them up. 4) when a woman is too glamourous, physiological obstacle on high maintenancy, can be confusing for people who want long term partners 5) only dating one man at a time: faced paced dating, maximize your options. 6) upload bikini pics on dating profile, theyll go just for the meat 7) holding your personality back — just be yourself

  • About the paying thing. I'm under no illusions about men. Them being protectors and such is…not a thing. If that was real, we wouldn't be constantly endangered by men. The reason they should be paying is because we risk more with everything. Risk is meeting a man you don't know so well, sex is a risk because of possible pregnancy. Also there's more of a chance it will be better for them than for us. Secondly, the sheer MONEY and effort it takes for us to get ready is greater than what it takes them to get ready. More is always expected of us appearance wise. So if my outfit is on point, hair is on point, make up is on point, perfume is on point. I invest in skincare, I invest in tons of things they don't even have to care about. Then no, I'm not spending further money when I've already done so much to look good.

  • True.. German man are so stingy! I can’t believe how gentlemen just disappear.. it’s not a fortune to pay dinner for a woman and be kind!!!!!

  • Men will fight over each other about who pays. They feel more powerful when they pay. So they actually want to pay for women

  • I was the watch boxing 🥊, gun shooting, wild dancing type, but I’m still an elegant lady. 😂 You don’t want to watch boxing with me. Trust.

  • How should we act if alone in a high class restaurant, when you are dining alone? I like to take travels by myself in fancy destinations, and i do not want to give the wrong vibe. Thank you

  • 12 sec into the vid: Those earings.. for Gods sake, please don't.. you DO NOT wear floor mops on your lobes, a simple water drop or pearl earrings are very much tasteful. Now I can go on and listen the whole thing

  • If I am to treat a manas a dating material, he must show me he is ready to invest in me. If he makes me pay, thats the first-last date.

  • The 'women aren't allowed to hunt' drives me nuts.
    It is a positive quality in any person to assert herself honestly and look for what she wants and go get it.
    Such a sick society to stomp on her instincts and knowledge.
    If I had a daughter I would want her to feel just as enthusiastic as a man to pursue all she sees as right, love, talents in her significant other, and raise a son who allows for all people to desire and go after those principled desires.
    Trust a man to pick a woman when women have such keen observational tendencies and behavioural centric senses at least as much?

    And what she said is right though: men are freaked out by this.
    There is a word for that and it starts with a p

  • Hello, I watch your videos, and all of them are gorgeous.
    But this time, I couldn't move my eyes from your dress (I think it is a dress) 👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️
    If it is possible, can you please let us know who is the designer? (Sorry for my English ☺️)

  • Do you think we can get more interest if we firstly showed we care and looked for contact and texted first? Or we have no chance to get back on track… With the guy…

  • My governess became very ill and had to take heavy medication, including cortisone, which made her gain 25kg and bloat. She could not work or take care of her physical appearance. Nevertheless her husband cared for her during the 3 years of her illness, she was the apple of his eye and the love of his life. Now they are building a new life together. This is a high quality man – the men you are talking about are just rich.

  • You are glowing… Maybe you have a bun in the oven? It's just an intuition that I have & other woman are picking up on your radiance too… I don't expect an answer. Just putting it out there.

  • The breast situation is not flattering honey. One boob is bigger than the other and that is perfectly okay but you need to fix it so it appears even.

  • Very wise advice, Anna, on how to be a lady to be in this crazy world 😀 No calls/ texting first (at early stages), no wallets at the first dates!

  • Oh my god I went on a date with a guy who was five years my elder and we had dinner. When getting the bill, he said he’ll pay for the drinks (just water). I decided to just pay for my meal, it was so rude

  • Are there older men who date a same age woman or are they looking mostly four younger women. I’m hoping it depends on being a high level woman

  • Wow Anna you absolutely gorgeous on this video,the statement earrings,the updo,the low slit in the dress…girl this whole look is giving me all kinds of life!❤️❤️ from NYC😘

  • Gee…I paid for a good dinner $600 because I invited him to the restaurant. That was a big mistake. Yes, and he earns more than me.

  • I'm never in a hurry to pay but if the man is also not offering I offer to pay my half and that's the last time I go out with him. If I want a meal, I can buy myself one without the annoying company, thank you very much.

  • Dear Anna thanks for this amazing video. Can you please give some advice about online dating and if elegant ladies should use them?

  • I do not agree with dating several guys at the same time, this is not appropriate for a woman that is looking for a serious relationship. This is flirty in my opinion.

  • I work in the hotels and always see the woman take care of the hotel. I get that they decided the trip together but I think a man should take care of it or at least put it on his card. Crazy cause men be acting spoiled.

  • If Im already in a committed relationship (married/living together some years), contributing income to the relationship i think is acceptable. In fact I find it empowering if I also bring in the bacon tho I definitely expect him to give me unexpected and surprising gifts, lavish me with the best he can do.
    I don’t take second of the best he can do & will never tolerate it

  • I am from Germany .. and my Friends pay.. but i am very beautiful and elegant .. so men have always payed for me i have had luck…

  • In my culture man pays / provides all the comfort for the woman that she doesn’t feel undervalued and doesn’t look for attention elsewhere . But since I live in Germany , gosh … men , plz have balls to pay for restaurant/ outing with your dates because it’s looks not only cheap when you don’t do it but also its big off for woman. Man must Play masculine role and not go under skirt of woman for financial reasons, stop checking out her financial power as long she is smart kind feminine energy reliable woman, it should be enough to have her in your life .

  • Funny, my mother always told me I should date other guys until I am official with one of them. I felt like I would be a slut if I did that, until I noticed those men I was being loyal to were talking to other girls – and eventually ended up with them.

  • I think it's a mistake to not offer to pay.

    As Matthew Hussey said, when you are on your first date you are both the most polite you will ever be, and if you never offer to pay he may be feeling like he is being used. Maybe that's just his problem to deal with but you can lose good men because of this. He, of course should not let you pay and if he does, run like hell. Sometimes, that little offer means a lot, even if you both know you will not eventually pay.

    "If you don't offer to pay your share, you weren't taught right. If he doesn't offer to pay he wasn't taught right." These are not my words, you should check his video on who should pay on the first date 😄 Someone said it got weird because she insisted on paying, you don't insist. You offer, he says no way, and you say a sincere thank you. It's not that complicated ladies.

    After a while being together, when going out to the movies you can buy the popcorn, just so he sees you put that little effort, you know?

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