07 Phrases for responding to RUDE people – Personality Development & Communication Skills Video
November 19, 2019
Hey, guys, do you know people can be really
rude? Of course, on my way to work today, I stopped by a food store to just grab a bite
and I saw this lady who looked really familiar to me. So, I went and asked her, hey did I
see you at a bookstore in Delhi? You’re from Delhi right, did I meet you before? And
she goes; I don’t go to book fairs. I was so stunned. I was like, dumbfounded. What
do I reply? She just sort of insulted me right on my face and I didn’t know what to say.
My natural reply, you know, would be something like, I guess, you need to take some classes
for politeness. Of course, because she was so rude to me. I decided to keep myself quiet
and I decided to keep my composure and I told her no problems, I’m sorry, I was mistaken.
Guess what, I was surprised to see the results. She goes, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was rude.
We haven’t met before, that’s what she told me. I said, wow, so then I realized that all
the keep calm memes that I see on Facebook and Insta, all these pictures, where they
right, keep calm and do good. Keep calm and be polite, keep calm because it’s your sister’s
wedding, keep calm and do not fight back. All these things are actually meaningful and
keeping calm is actually useful. So that was a learning experience for me and I learned
that keeping calm, when someone is rude to you, actually works. So today, I have brought
for you, a few tested and tried phrases that you can use, while someone is talking rudely
to you. You can reply to them with these phrases and smartly put their impoliteness and rudeness
to rest. So this is Michelle and you’re watching me on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills
for the real world. Do you know a simple thank you is more powerful
than you think? From my experience, I think, thank you is magical. Take for example, if
you need to use the computer urgently at your workplace and your PC has crashed. So you
ask a colleague if you could share the computer and they are like, I don’t share my resources.
Of course, that was very rude. If you respond to them with a simple, hmm, it’s okay, thank
you. You will actually show the person, that you are not angry and you were not at all
affected by their behaviour. That’s the way of a mature person. Your polite answer
means that you see the person’s rudeness and you choose not to react. This shows that you
are not affected and it’s perfectly fine if they are talking to you like that. This is
the sign of a mature person and as I said, and this will surely lead your Mr. or Miss.
Rude to some shame. So say a thank you and find your way out. I have often been a part of a conversation
where people sort of criticize me for my choice to be a teacher. Like an English teacher or
a life skills coach or a life skills trainer. They try to belittle me by their comments.
For example recently at a party, one of my uncles, he told me, why are you a teacher?
We don’t need them anymore. You would rather be a doctor and do some good to society. I
was like, really? Well, I told him, Sir, I appreciate your perspective but teachers are
the ones who make doctors too, isn’t it? And the person was quiet. Wow, that was smart.
So while I made my point smartly, I didn’t even sound rude at all. So because of the
phrase that I used, I sounded really polite. So the next time, you’re commented about your
appearance. Maybe your profession, your religion or your race, your colour, you can definitely
respond with a phrase like this which does not sound rude and you can make your point
as well. You could say, I appreciate your perspective but whatever you wanna add. So
use this phrase, and it will definitely help you, find your way, away from a very rude
conversation. So just imagine that, when I told that person,
Sir, I appreciate your perspective but the teachers make the doctors too. For goodness
sake, he was quiet and he didn’t respond back to me. But, just in case, if he had carried
on with something like, uh come on, teaching is old age stuff. You are paid for doing nothing.
I would seriously want to give a rude reply and I would be very furious. I would actually
want to say, will you shut up? Or even worst begin a fight. But I can’t-do that, right?
I’m at a party, I’m with my uncle. He’s much older than me, almost my dad’s age and
this is not at all a polite way to behave. I’m sure that if I say that, I would definitely
regret it later. I would instead; you know feel very bad about it. So instead of this,
I chose to something like I think we better stop this conversation now. So before the
argument gets very heated and you know, you begin to react with a rude reply. You could
say something like this so that you are keeping calm also and you are not feeling very frustrated.
So you could say that it’s okay, I think we should stop this conversation right now. Well,
you don’t wanna burn the brides right? You still wanna see that person again and you
definitely will have to see them again. Then why not just end the conversation on a good
note? And save yourself of all the regret you will feel if you go up to them ever for
any favour or any help. So I’m sure you wanna, face that person again. So take my advice
and use this phrase that I’ve shared with you to reply to a rude comment. Sometimes, people don’t think twice before
they speak and they can even body shame you mean give you some bad comments about your
body or the way you appear in public. I have often heard people saying, things like, hey
what happened, you’ve gained so much weight. Do you have a medical problem? And these are
those people who don’t even talk to you. They don’t know anything about your life. They
see you like once in a year over an occasion and they ask you such a question. You could
be like, yes maybe I do have a medical problem but I don’t owe an explanation to you for
my weight gain. So the crux is, if you don’t like what someone said to you, you can be
clear and explain to the other person, exactly what it is that you didn’t like. So if you
didn’t like them telling you, that you’re gaining too much weight and you know, if you
have a medical problem. You could simply put it across. By doing so, you will protect yourself
from any future remarks like that. But how to do it? So you could do this by, saying
something like, these words really hurt my feelings and then you could quote the words.
So if someone says something way too rude to you, or body shame you. If they tell you
that you are getting more fat day by day or anything like that, which hurts you. You could
surely say these words. These words hurt my feelings and please don’t say it again. Okay, so I’m one of those people who have
a real hard time accepting someone else’s point of view. I always want to put my point
of view across over any topic. Like, I would not give up easily in an argument. so after
many heated arguments and debates that I’ve had with people at my workplace in the past
and sometimes in my family also, I have learnt one good lesson that if you think, that there
is some truth in what the person said which often happens. Sometimes they say something
and you feel like, okay maybe she’s just a little bit right. Then you have to eat the
frog which means that you have to tell them, that they are right. But say it as you mean
it and not like you’re right. Not like that, you’ve to tell them, yes you are right and
I accept your opinion. Most probably they’ll leave the place feeling like they’ve won
the argument. So just go and use a phrase, you’re right, to cut a long argument short.
Most people find it really hard to say this but I think you should practise saying, you
are right, a little bit more if you are one of those people. The next way to cut an argument short is,
by saying I love you. Yes, you got me right and even a warm kiss. I’m not joking of
course now. Obviously, you won’t do this to your boss. But you can obviously do this to
your spouse, right? There’s nothing wrong with it. So instead of saying, I’m so sorry,
if you tell your spouse, I love you that would definitely melt them right before you. I love
you work much better than I’m sorry with your spouse. You can take me, by the word. As I
told you in the beginning of the lesson, this is a tried and tested phrase. So, definitely,
you can use this phrase, with your spouse, be careful, not to use it with everyone around
you. This one is the last nail in the coffin, which
means that is the best thing to do and the most ultimate thing to do in an argument if
nothing works. Just laugh, most probably, if you laugh in a heated argument, the other
person will feel like why is she laughing? Why is he laughing? They’ll be so confused
and baffled that they would just leave and you’ll save yourself so much trouble. In another
case, if you start laughing, they might realize that they have said something wrong and they
would even apologize to you. So this trick is, laugh out the argument, okay with your
best friend, with people you don’t even know or people who are your acquaintance,
laugh and finish the arguments. So in the end, I’m here to remind you to keep
calm and not be very angry, put your point across, laugh much, say I love you if you
have to, say I’m sorry if you have to and say you’re right if you need to say that.
Use all of these phrases to end the arguments in a good way and not to burn the bridges.
So here are some ways to respond to rude comments and too rude people. I will still remind you
to stay in control and to be strong. So smile and spread smiles and I’ll see you all very
soon on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world.